Tag Archives: work

It Gets Better

Avid Tay Talks readers, do you recall the beginning of this year? I gave insight to my personal fears and struggles and I was losing myself in my problems. It was a rough few months filled with anxiety and fear. But I stuck it out and promised myself that I would show you guys that if I could do it, so can you. Do what, you ask? Simply put: improve yourselves. Maybe you’re already at the top of your foodchain or you’re a millionaire or successful in your own rights. Great! But I’m not. I’m not even close to my fantasy life I built in my head. (that’s another thing I’d like to talk about if I remember.)

But I’m closer than I was in January. This year is my year, I kept repeating. I quit my retail jobs and now I’m employed elsewhere. I’m not going to say where I am exactly, but I will tell you about my day at work.

I arrived promptly at 2pm, ready to fill out paperwork and meet some people. I go into the building and ride the elevator to the top floor. (It’s only 3 stories, but it’s the tallest building on the block.) Inside, I meet the friendly Sir Receptionist Man (yes, I forgot his name and I’m sorry) and he alerts the manager of my presence. One of the three managers who interviewed me appears. He was clean shaven and had a haircut since I last saw him. He was also way taller than me, dressed in black (manager color-coded shirt), with a white lanyard that was peppered with Disneyland pins. I think “Yes. This is going to be a fun place to work.”

He leads me down a hall that is decorated entirely with basketball and football sports flags from all over the country. Collegiate and NFL, so you know that sports are big here. As we enter the main office, there are no cubicles; just rows of glass desks, large double monitors, and people in white (training) and blue (proctor) polos. Everyone is wearing a lanyard with one of four colors (which I will explain the significance of soon). There are bobble heads on the dividers. I see Chewbacca, Deadpool, Han Solo, and a delicious cast of characters from various pop and cult films and shows. That made me want to giggle like a schoolgirl. Then I turn and see it: A STORM TROOPER! That’s right. A Star Wars Storm Trooper, towering over all of us, a red company lanyard around its neck. It’s just sitting in the corner, busy being awesome and all that.

At the end of the office, where I was going to work on the official employee documents, was a wall that was just one big window. It looked out over the parking lot below and– Oh. What’s that? Is that… the shopping center I used to work at?! Holy crap! Across the street! Right there! Oh my gosh! It’s really….! Yup. That’s right. I was now ABOVE my old place of work. That’s a really horrible thing to say, so allow me to explain why this moment was so important for me.

While working retail, I was unhappy. Okay, I was miserable. I hated it. I loathed it. Nothing made me feel more useless than standing there, taking the crap from ungrateful people who were infuriated by my inability to take their used underwear that they had no proof of purchasing from us. I was truly unhappy. I felt low. Really low.

At this new job, I felt welcomed, excited, passionate, driven, challenged, and encouraged. And one of the best parts? My desk looked out over the previous job. I actually teared up. The eyes lodged in my sockets were quite wet! WET, I SAY! I had done it. I had not only mentally and financially moved up in the world, but I was there, physically, above it. I had risen out of the depths of my despair, risen above the struggles and the crap that I was trudging through, and moved on. I knew that if I listened to my heart, truly listened, that I would be happier. It took a bit longer than I would have liked, but I’m glad it did. Had it gone too fast, I don’t think I’d have the same drive, let alone the same reaction I had today.

So anyway, I filled out the paperwork and then I sign in for something that I think is the coolest thing:

My new company has a personality quiz that all new employees must take. They evaluate your personalities and organize us into groups. To be honest, it felt like I was being sorted into a House at Hogwarts. I was excited. (Disclaimer: we are not put into castes that are above or below each other. This system is installed so that we would know how to approach one another, how to work with each other, how to respond to each other. It was designed to allow us to communicate efficiently. I loved it.) So here are the “Houses” of this company:

Yellow: Fun, Energetic, Happy.

Red: Passion, Demanding, Driven.

Blue: Intimate, Caring, Emotionally Available.

White: Peace, Mediator, Independent.

There were a lot of blues. Two of the Three managers I met were blues. I saw a lot of blues on the floor. It made me nervous. Would I be a blue? I mean, I imagined myself as being the kind of person who would respond the way a blue would to clients and coworkers. So… why wouldn’t I be? My immediate thought was “PLEASE DON’T BE BLUE!”

“Not Slytherine, not Slytherine!”

The idea that I would wind up having to eventually wear a blue shirt and lanyard to work terrified me. These were my uniform colors back at my retail job. I understand and respect all colors, but at work, blue is totally inappropriate. Blue is passive, soft, gentle, and (often associated with) slothulness. I really didn’t want it. I wanted yellow. I wanted to be fun and charismatic and energetic and happy. So as I’m taking this test, I see a Yellow (name unknown) start talking to my manager. He’s totally confident, funny, nerdy, and awesome. I go, “yeah, I could be a yellow. It’d be a lot to live up to, but I could be a yellow.”

The test was a long series of “what were you like as a kid” questions followed by a lot of “how does this make you feel” questions. It was pretty straightforward, but I couldn’t figure out what answers went with corresponding colors, so I couldn’t cheat my way into yellow if I tried. In the end, I figured the way I had answered, I’d be blue. I almost cried in sorrow. Please…. Please not blue…

Then my results came in.

White.

What? White? Really? I watched the video explanation of why they thought white was my color. I represent peace. My goal in the workplace is to keep people happy and to make sure nothing gets in the way of that happiness. I was actually humbled by my result. I answered every question as honestly as possible and they viewed me as a “White”. I was elated. “NOT BLUE!” I said aloud. “I’m WHITE!” I don’t think my coworkers knew I wasn’t talking about my race until my manager laughed.

This job is awesome. The training will be a bit tough, but I’m a fantastic customer service rep. I got this made. And a White? Peace? PEACE?! That’s the coolest thing ever! I love it. I absolutely love it. I am Peace, my soul mate is a Yellow, for sure. And I can’t wait to get things rolling. I want to grow. I want to rise up in the ranks here. Not because I want power, but because I want to be able to work here and support myself and others until my own personal company rises to fruition. This company is “the one”. I am excited. And I can’t wait to share everything with you.

You guys are awesome. You guys can do anything. Switch careers, switch majors, whatever. You don’t have to be trapped where you are now. If you’re unhappy, get out! It’s scary, it’s intimidating, and it’s rough. It is not easy at all. But you can do it. You can do it! If I can do it, if I can find a job that isn’t retail (the only thing I’m trained for) and change my life and career path, so can you! You got this, guys and gals. You got this. I love you all so very much. I’m proud of you and all you’ve done. I can’t wait to see what you do next.

Love,

Tay

Filming in Flagstaff

I hate “jobs.” I hate all jobs. I’ve yet to work a job that I can earnestly say “I really like this and can see myself doing this for the rest of my life/for many years to come!” Nope. Not once. Every job I’ve ever had I go “Yup. This is what I know how to do and I do it well.” They’re boring, but that’s not the only reason I hate them.

Jobs are jobs. They give me no sense of accomplishment. I really really thought about it, but I cannot find a single thing it does that makes me feel like I’m doing something worthwhile. Paying bills, being responsible, that’s all wonderful. SO wonderful. But it’s not fulfilling. It’s surviving.

I’m not a survivor. I’m a dreamer.

Do not go gently into that good night! Don’t sit around! Do! DO!

Last weekend, I went up to Flagstaff to film some things for movie that I’m interning on. It was such an amazing experience. I learned more in one day than I did in my 4 months of shooting my own film. I helped take stills, dress the set, talk about shots with my director. What’s amazing was that he actually appreciated what I did, because I just realized as I was typing this that me suggesting things might have been totally been inappropriate for an intern. Urgh. Anxiety.

Regardless, I learned something about myself that day. I will get up at 4:30 with only two hours of sleep and will work my hardest, be professional, and be generally all sorts of awesome AND happy on a film set. Why? How?

It’s something I love. I truly, deeply love filmmaking. I’ve decided that I will find a way to make money doing this. I don’t care what I do, so long as it’s creating movies in some way, shape, or form. It’s what I was born to do.

If you guys have a dream, follow it. You will find happiness beyond your dreams.

TRIUMPHANT RETURN!

That’s right, you beautiful people, I’m back. I purchased a new power cable for my laptop and it just arrived today. I didn’t even think about taking pictures of it so that you guys wouldn’t have to stare at nothing but words. Boring, boring words. I apologize. Next time! Like maybe when I order a new computer. Or have pizza deliver. Ooo! Who thinks I should start taking selfies with all the pizza delivery people? That’d be pretty sweet. And weird.

I have so much to tell you guys and not enough space in one post. But here’s a list of things that will probably be coming pretty soon:

1. I went to Disneyland! You’re going to hear all about that for sure.

2. I went camping for the first time in at least 3 years! You have no idea how much I love camping because I forgot to tell you 

3. My sister got her Mission Call! It’s a pretty big deal for us.

4. I’m revamping the blog! I will more than likely be re-formating everything I can within the coming week and really focusing on what I want this blog to be.

5. I’m going to Flagstaff to shoot a trailer for a film I’m interning on! It’s a horror film and I’ll be sure to do my best to take as many pictures as I can when I’m not working.

6. I’m still addicted to goldfish! This is becoming a serious problem. Send help.

7. At least three other blog posts about my personal opinions of people on the internet! ….YAY!

8. YouTube! I’m revamping my YouTube channel in an attempt to be awesome and your support is most appreciated.

9. THE COLOR OF HUNGER UPDATE! Remember my short film I told you about? Well, so do I and we’ve got some cool news for you.

And much more! Stay tuned, my beautiful, wonderful, soulful readers. You’re the reason I came back. Love you much!

And remember: if you’re going to dream, dream BIG!

I Died At Work Today

When I work, I don’t frequent the break room because I hate taking breaks (unless I’m hungry or tired). Today was no exception. If I can get away with it, I will go my whole shift without taking a single break. I only had an hour and half left on my shift (of which I was working two extra hours. Go me.) and my boss came up to me and said “You need to take a lunch. Or else.” And I said “You don’t own me! I do what I want! I’m a strong, independent woman (hungry, tired, dude) who don’t need a man!”

Okay, I actually said “Oh, okay. Thanks!”

I headed to the break room, sat down at the table, and as soon as I did that, my head became incredibly heavy. It fell down, slamming into the table. It was painful, yet oddly delightful. I felt like I should sleep. I felt like my mind was ready to wander into that realm of dreams (more of that in a later post). Sleep. Sleep would be perfect.

But I was at work. I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t possibly get away with that. Plus, I don’t nap. I coma. I coma, people. If I attempt to sleep at any given time other than the times I normally sleep, I do not wake. For days. It’s actually really scary. Terrifying. I will not wake up. Sleeping is horrible. It wastes time. It steals time. It steals it. With it’s little, grubby, sand-dusted* hands.

Anyway, I decided I needed to sit up. I started to pull away from the table. The tablecloth came with me. My eyes popped open. I sat all the way up and the tablecloth came with me, knocking over all the stuff on the table. What was happening? Was I dreaming? No. I was too sticky** to be dreaming. I fell back down, head-first into the table. This time it wasn’t so delightful. I tried to take a few pictures, but they were blurry and I gave up… and then died. You get the featured image at the top instead.

So what was your goofy struggle today? Anything odd happen? Something that might have been annoying, yet kind of funny? Share. Tell me.

PS. This is obviously the most profound post you’ve read. I think you should follow my blog because of how much it changed your life…. I’m itchy…

PPS. I wrote this on the 10th. Wednesday. So “today” isn’t accurate.


*Sand-dusted: a reference to The Sandman. The creeper who sprinkles the eyes of children to make them fall asleep.

**It was syrup. Maple, I believe. Smelled good, I guess. Just old. And gross. And stuck to my forehead.