Tag Archives: positive

Because There is No Alternative

Things have been going extraordinarily well, as of late. I’m employed at a fantastic company that I love, with awesome coworkers, good pay, and a real chance at learning and growing. I’m grateful for such an opportunity. My home life is also going pretty well. My lovely oldest younger sister is on a mission for our church and is currently in Utah for training before being sent off to Washington State. It’s super cool. I’m very proud of her. My brother is doing really well for himself, working for a pest control company. What was the first thing he bought? A ton of video games and an epic computer for gaming. My youngest sister is in the grip of mid-high school life, so it’s about as good as it could be for her (rough, but manageable). My parents are happy and my dad might even be able to get off insulin in a year. I might have an opportunity to move out sooner rather than later, and I’m starting up a tiny local business-thing to help me make some extra money. (Don’t worry. It’s not drugs. Yet.) Life is simple and good right now.

So then, why am I feeling so craptastic?

The long answer: I’m halfway into a relationship I don’t know will work, my self-image is crumbling, my health is in decline, I’m still nowhere near to releasing my first film, I’m tired most of the time, I get anxious about the dumbest things, yadda yadda.

The short answer: I’m not perfect.

I know, I know. You can’t be perfect. You can’t expect yourself (or be expected by others) to perform flawlessly and shoot to the top of the ladder at your job, relationship, or whatever else is in your life. You just can’t. To do so causes stress, and for a man who is 24 and has to live at home, that’s a pretty normal. I know, intellectually, that I’m imperfect and that I’m not supposed to be perfect. That said, I know I’m not at my best, that my potential is untapped, that I am nowhere near where I would like to be. It’s rough.

I want to be traveling the world. I want to be making movies. I want to be changing lives. I want to be helping people. I want to be independent. I want, I want, I want, but I don’t have. I’m failing to live up to my own expectations. So I came up with a couple solutions. The first is pretty obvious:

Lower your expectations of yourself.

This tends to be the go-to when I asked for advice on the matter. “You can’t be perfect,” and “you shouldn’t try to do too much,” were common responses. “You need to set lower standards,” was also popular. This might work for you, because your standards might be ridiculous. You might think that you have to raise those four kids, balance a check book, and end world hunger all before 8 in the morning. It’s admirable that you want to do all these things, but it might be a little foolish to try to do it all alone. Which brings me to my second solution:

Try harder.

Maybe your expectations and standards are within reach. You’d probably know better than I would. I personally don’t think my standards are that implausible. I want to live in my own apartment/condo/house, travel to a new place every month (even if it’s just to another city), and make enough money to support myself. It shouldn’t be that hard, yet for some reason it is. In fact, in my experience, this is basically impossible. Why? Because I’m not trying hard enough. I haven’t ever been able to completely focus or devote myself to any one thing – goal or otherwise – without assistance. Or rather, I haven’t forced myself to do so. When the going gets tough, the Tay got going. But that needs to change if I want to reach my goals.

To sum up, there are several roads you can take. You can change your standards, change your course in life, change how hard you work; whatever the case may be. You have the power. And I have the power. Believe.

That not good enough for you? The whole “just be positive” speech doesn’t carry as much thunder once you’ve heard it a dozen times. Allow me to present you with another fact:

Do what you need to do to reach your goal. Do it because there is no alternative. There just isn’t. I got home from a walk in the park a few minutes ago and my dad proceeded to lecture me about my eating habits (which are pretty bad). I’m now officially 70 pounds over my personal weight limit. I have plans to live forever and the gunk in my veins is going to clog up my heart before I get the chance to discover the cure for death. I have to be healthy. It’s no longer an option of “Well, I want abs to looks sexy.” Now it’s “I need to be healthy, or I’m going to die at 30.” There is no alternative. I have no other options.

Neither do you.

You want your life to change? You want to reach your goal? You want to be something more than you are today? Do you want to do something but just can’t find the motivation? Then remember the title of this post. Because you have to do it. You have to. THERE IS NO ALTERNATIVE. There’s no backup. There’s no checkpoint. There’s no restart. There’s this. This is it. Do not waste what life and time you have. You have to try. You have to do. Because there is no alternative. Humans have proven their resilience time and time again. It’s proof that you can persevere and do it too. It will be hard. It will seem impossible. But you have to. You have no other choice.

Don’t give up! Don’t give in! And always remember to DREAM BIG!

I’m Awesome. You’re Awesome.

Here’s something I’ve learned over the years: I am nothing like the rest of the world. I am weird. I am odd. I am different than everyone else.

Here’s something else I’ve learned: You are nothing like the rest of the world. You are weird. You are odd. You are different than everyone else.

In a way, this makes us similar. Each of us have our own struggles and if we start comparing one struggle to another, we’re just breeding envy and other such nonsense. Anxiety, depression, bad home life, no job, loss of a loved one, disease, hunger; the list goes on and on. We are all subject to these torments.

So what?

Okay, so occasionally we succumb to our faults and we have really crappy days. I can list many-a-time when I’ve wanted to throw my hands in the air, laugh hysterically, and march out the door while singing “I QUIT!” in the most flamboyant of ways possible. There are days where I hide in my bed and pray that I am going to be okay. You know what the worst thing is you can say to someone who is in that state of mind? “It’s going to be okay.” I dunno about you, but that never helped me. That just made me go “well, crap. Now I have to make everything okay.” Someone said something else to me this morning that hit me so profoundly. Maybe I’m a narcissist, but it worked.

“Hey, you are awesome.”

It came out of the blue. There was no warning or prerequisite. (He doesn’t read this blog either) It stuck me so profoundly and so quickly that I responded immediately: “Not to sound arrogant, or ungrateful, but I know. You’re right. I am awesome. Thank you for reminding me.” I am so grateful this person said that to me. Because you know what? I am awesome. I am awesome. No one ever told me that in High School. I’ve been out of high school for 5 years and in those years I’ve come to understand the truth that this person randomly told me. I am awesome. And If I can be awesome, so can you.

I’m a man with enough faults to cause an earthquake, and yet I’m awesome. You’re awesome too. You have to believe that. You are awesome. So what if you’re lazy? So what if you’re sick? So what if you’re poor? So what?! You’re awesome! And that’s a great thing. Now go and use your awesomeness! Rise to the challenge and make a difference in this world! You’re awesome. And you always will be.

Remember, if you’re going to dream, dream BIG!

I made this in High School.
“If we could see the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man’s life enough sorrow and suffering to disarm all hostility.” – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow… I made this in High School.

The Hour is Nigh

As I approach the date I will be willingly removed from my current residence, many questions present themselves:

  • How will I afford rent, phone, gas, insurance, food, utilities, and personal projects?
  • Where will I be living?
  • Who will I be living with? (hopefully solved)
  • How will these changes affect my dreams and aspirations?
  • Where (else) will I be working?
  • How do I make sure that what I’m doing the right thing?

These questions are stressful enough as it is. Despite my efforts, I haven’t had any luck in answering these questions. Today (or yesterday) I finally figured out why: I’m not trying hard enough.

My sister enlightened me with a paraphrased quote:

“If you want to be successful, you have to do the things that scare you the most.”

I have decided to make a decision that many would view as foolish. I am planning on turning in my two weeks notice at my current job. Why? Why would I give up something stable; something that is helping cover my costs right now? Why would I throw away what I have when the hour is nigh?! Simply put, desperation makes us do things we wouldn’t normally do. And I don’t feel desperate. I feel complacent. And I know a simple attitude shift should be able to help, but it’s not enough for me. I need to feel it. I need to do more than want it. I need to need it.

“You’re a dork,” you say, using polite language instead the other horrible (but true) things you could say. My rebuttal is a simple “um… yeah. Have you not been reading my blog?” I know I’m crazy. I know I’m dumb. I know I’m not using a very safe mentality, but there’s no such thing as an easy way forward. That’s not possible. Not in my life. Everything I’ve experienced that has been the most helpful has come from the most dramatic moments you can imagine; a horrible break-up, a fight with depression, a hike into a perilous mountain, a 50 mile bike ride in a single day, losing a pet of more than a decade of friendship, losing grandparents, etc. All of these things gave me experience and was for my own good.

I would not be who I am today without these experiences and my parents, my wonderful, loving parents, know that. They know I will remain here, unmoved. A lot of people came to my defense when I told them the news or when they read my blog. I felt very loved and supported and I appreciated it. Unfortunately, I think their love for me has blindsided them, or given them “forgiveness filters” so that they don’t think about or judge me for my stupidity and my laziness. My parents are not trying to get rid of me, they are not trying to hurt me. What they do, they do because they love me. And before you guys say “typical. You’re defending them because they’re your family,” let me clarify: yes. I’m defending them because they are my family. They’ve known me since birth. I was fortunate to have my parents remain together for 24+ years and to nurture me through this time. They weren’t perfect, but they did the best they could and now we’ve all realized they’ve done their job, they’ve done all that they can do. It’s my turn.

The Hour is nigh! I am an adult and should act like one. I shouldn’t feel like the universe owes me anything. It doesn’t. What I have is what I’ve been blessed with. Even this, this opportunity to leave, is a blessing. The time has come to spread my wings and crash and burn. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it. I am excited to see what the future holds, excited to take the road less traveled, excited to explore the destinies I have access to. I can… no. I will make this year amazing. I will make this year different. I will grow and mature more in this year than I have in the last 4, perhaps in my whole life. I will do it. And I am so excited to get to share that all with you.

Stay tuned! The next post is about my heroes and how they have influenced my decisions, my goals, my dreams, and much more.

I love you all, you marvelous people, you. Remember: if you’re going to dream, dream big!

So Far, So Good

New Years Eve was spent party-hoping, dating, and eating dozens of appetizers and heaps of snack food. Lighting tiny fireworks, seeing old high school friends, and making out with attractive people may or may not have also been involved. Midnight came around with cheers and celebrations. It was a great night.

On New Years Day, two very big things happened. First, I hung out with an old friend, Steve. Last time he saw me, I was jobless, car-less, and wore the same old crappy t-shirts from high school. Three years later, I’m employed, driving my own car (crappy though it is), and wearing fancy clothes (faux leather jacket included). It was great to see him again. We spent the evening driving and laughing and trying food from various places. It was jolly. Even though my car nearly failed to get me home (alternator died at the last possible second), it was a great evening and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

And then I came home…

For those of you who don’t know, my home life is pretty standard. I’m the first of four children (two boys and two girls). My parents are still together and both are working (one from home and one out of home). I pay rent (occasionally). I pay for my own phone, gas, and food (when I can afford to do so). I work a part-time minimum wage retail job and have been for over a year now. My life was lacking the flair I’ve been craving for a while now. I want to travel, I want to make YouTube videos. I want to make movies, write books, and be creative in general. And I want to get paid doing it. I want to follow my heart, live the dream, etc. etc. etc. I want to be financially independent, have my very own place, a better car, and money! Not because I want to live in the lap of luxury or because I want fame and fortune to knock on my door, but because I’m tired of leaning on the support of others to get things done. I’m working on destroying my ego, so your patience is appreciated. Anyway, all of these things were swirling in my head that night when Dad decides to sit me down.

“You have until March 1st to find a new place to live,” he said. This isn’t the first time this has happened either. When I was 19 it was either go serve a mission for my church, or move out. I moved out. More on that later. After living in two places, courtesy of very dear friends, I realized I was too poor, too stupid, and too insane to do this whole “adult” thing. I wound up back home where my family and I rekindled our relationship and repaired the damage done. News Years Day, 2015, however, was a very different conversation. I had been dreaming of having my own place for a long time now and I had complained about it (but never actually done anything about it).

My dad and I are wired almost the same way. He said “I know that when things get comfortable, we get complacent. And you can’t afford to be complacent anymore.” Spoken like the Mouth of Truth itself. The words didn’t impact me in any special way that night. I had been thinking the same thing for weeks. I wasn’t angry, I wasn’t hurt, I wasn’t annoyed. I was excited. I need motivation to do things; to do anything. And it’s true, I was complacent. Comfortable. I wanted this. I wanted to be out of my parents safety net. I wanted to be free.

Free. What a word. We can do a word examination on that later. But right now, I feel it. I feel free. I could pack up and go anywhere. I could leave the city, the state, the country. I could travel the world or settle in the slums. I am no longer bound by the rules of someone else’s house. I can move out! Guys and gals, I can move out! I have never been so excited to move before. I hate moving. But considering almost all of my stuff is already packed, it wouldn’t be that hard.

I need another job (or a replacement) to help cover the costs of living on my own. I need to remember my passions and not let myself get swallowed up by the struggle of establishing myself as an individual in society. It’s my first real step into adulthood and I couldn’t be more excited. I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished and I know this year is going to be full of milestones. I’m going to change my world and I am so excited that I get to share it with you. Stay tuned for updates as I job hunt, home hunt, and man hunt. Wink wink.

What are some things on your plate this year? What does the foreseeable future hold? Comment, follow, subscribe, yadda yadda!

I love you all. Remember: if you’re going to dream, dream BIG!

PS. Listen to Steve’s music! It’s pretty swell!

UNCONDITIONAL

**Disclaimer: this post delves into my personal beliefs centering around religion. If you are uncomfortable reading people’s opinions of faith, I recommend you come back for my post later this evening (12/28/2014). Thanks for visiting!**

**Disclaimer 2: I had to write this while listening to people argue in the next room so it’s going to be hard to understand.**

UNCONDITIONAL: adj. not subject to any conditions; absolute. Many of you have heard or even used this word at some point in your life and it is often followed by something like “love” or some other equally appropriate word. This word is also often found in religion, especially of Christian denominations when describing the love Jesus Christ has for the world. Surprisingly enough, Christ’s “unconditional love” is often seen by people outside the religions as the exact opposite. They view it as “do what I say or you’ll go to hell.”

I’m going to write a quick post to argue the point. As a Christian, I not only believe in Christ, but also His unconditional love He has for all people. Race, gender, sexuality, age, and so on are unimportant to Christ and therefore do not hinder one’s ability to receive the love that is pouring from His ever-flowing fount. “Well, then what are the rules and commandments for?” some argue. “Why would someone who claims to love you without condition then go and tell you what to do and what not to do?”

My answer would be something like this: “Why would any parent ever tell their children what to do and what not to do?” Think about it. Really think about it. Why? Why would a parent say “Hey. Don’t do drugs.”? Is it because that parent doesn’t want their child to have fun? Is it because that parent is a stick in the mud? Or is it, perhaps, because that parent doesn’t want their child to get hurt, to become reckless or dependent, and so on. Well, say the child goes and does some drugs. Just a little weed or something. No biggie, right? Maybe not to the kid, but what about the parent? Does the parent just go “Well, I asked you not to do that, but that’s okay.” Probably not. The parent will more than likely be disappointed. The parent might even be hurt by their child’s disobedience. For this reason, the parent takes away the kid’s cell phone (that the parents pay for). So how does this mean they stop loving their child? Really. I want to know.

Granted, being sent to Hell is a bit worse than getting one’s cell phone privileges revoked. So let’s look at that for a moment.

In my personal belief, not necessarily doctrine from my faith, Hell is a state of being, of mind, of soul. It’s not a place. And God does not put us there. Our Father, our Creator, would never, ever send us to hell, no matter what evil we have committed against Him and His children, our fellow man. So then why does it say “sinners shall be damned” in various ways throughout the bible and other holy texts? Well, because that’s what will happen when we leave God. God, our Father, and His Son, Jesus Christ, set up a perfect plan to allow us, the most imperfect of people to return to God’s presence and live eternally with Him and His Son and all others who follow His teachings. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You’ve heard that before. But I’m basically just proving your point, right? No. Look deeper.

God does not put us in hell (this is my theory). Right? When we abandon Him, when we stray, when we go down a path that isn’t what He had intended for us, He can no longer bless us. Not that He doesn’t want to, or that He doesn’t love us, but that it wouldn’t be fair. How could it be? Just stabbed your neighbor? Oh, well, no biggie. God loves you. Here’s a bunch of good things to make your perfect life even better. No. Just… No.  You don’t reward dogs when they pee on the furniture. You don’t reward children when they throw a fit in the store. You don’t give rewards to those who are deliberately disobeying you.

So maybe you don’t like all of God’s commandments. I’m certainly at odds with a few of them (very deep post coming soon). But He’s God. He’s a pure and perfect being who knows everything and probably knows what will keep us safe, happy, healthy, sane, and so on. Why would He ever do or command things that were not for our benefit? It doesn’t make sense. He loves us. He loves you. He wants nothing more than for you to be happy. That’s why we are free to do things His way or our own way. And yes, He supports whatever decision you make, at least in the sense that He will not interfere. He loves us more than we can ever understand, more than we are capable of receiving or even comprehending. His love moves mountains, parts oceans, and raises the dead. But that’s not what truly makes this love special.

What makes it so special is this: He will always love you, now and forever, no matter who you are, who you were, or who you will become. You are His child and He knows you better than you know yourself. He will always love you. You may not put yourself in a position where you are receptive to that love and that makes Him sad. He wants nothing more than for you to be happy. If you think you can happy on your own, by golly, do that! Don’t conform to someone else’s prescription of happy pills. They won’t work for you. Don’t follow something you have no faith in. Don’t do that which makes you miserable.

But do not forget, even if it doesn’t feel like it, He still loves you. I have seen it in my life. I am undeserving of His love, of his gifts, and yet, every day, there are things I cannot explain that happen because He is watching over me. I make bad choices and right now The Man in the Sky and I aren’t really on speaking terms. But I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that He does love me, now and forever. Forever. Can you imagine? What a vast and powerful thing. I am grateful for that love in my life and for the example it is in my life.

Whether you’re Christian or Buddhist or Muslim or Atheist or whatever you identify as; whether you’re homosexual, bisexual, heterosexual, or pansexual; whether you’re American, French, Iraqi, or Canadian; whether you’re white, black, yellow, or red; whatever you are, whoever you are, and whatever you choose to be, I will love you. will always love you. You are amazing. You are beautiful. You have unlimited potential. You are a Child of God and that not only makes you royalty, that makes you my family. Agree with me or not, I still love you. Everyone matters. You matter.

Thanks for reading. And remember: if you’re going to dream, dream BIG!

TL;DR — You’re amazing and I love you all. God loves you too and stuff.

What Happens When You Leave a Taydebear Alone in a Strange Place (AKA The Longest Title of All Time)

Have you ever had a Taydebear all to yourself? No? Well, allow me to explain what it’s like…

Having a Taydebear is like having a very needy pet. Taydebears love to snuggle, but don’t like to be touched. They love to eat, but will never ask for food, no matter how hungry they are. Taydebears are fickle, easily entertained for short periods of time (unless presented with shiny objects), and demand the presence of comforting sounds or catchy music/showtunes. It’s like how people leave the radio on for the dog when they go to work. Taydebears are indecisive. Taydebears prefer the company of others. Taydebears hate being alone (at least when they are in a good mood. If they’re cranky, STAY AWAY FOR YOUR SAKE!).

So let’s put this knowledge into a scenario:

You’re house sitting for a family member. You’ve invited the Taydebear to this particular house before. The Taydebear arrives and you two have a jolly good time. Hip hip, hooray! As the day moves into the evening, you remember that you have to go to work. You inform the Taydebear. The Taydebear is saddened. You’re heart swells with pity and you say “I’ll only be there for four hours. You can just stay here and we can hang out when I get back! :D” (emoticon included). The Taydebear struggles with making a decision (he’s indecisive, remember). Eventually, after some persuading, the Taydebear agrees to stay and wait for you to return. You hug him goodbye and head off to work.

This is when the Taydebear loses his mind.

tay4
This is the look of terror. TERROR.

The Taydebear begins to realize that he can’t leave. He doesn’t have a key. Taydebear becomes claustrophobic. In defense of his fragile mental psyche, the Taydebear dives into the internet and Netflix. He realizes he has nothing but these devices to keep him company. His mind begins to fracture into survival mode and sleep-it-away mode. It’s very comical to watch, though he desperately hopes no one IS watching.

Look at my Modes! MY MODES!
Look at my Modes! MY MODES!

One or the other. And on very rare occasions…

I tried to get this shot 13 times... it came out a little racist and lame, but appreciate it. APPRECIATE IT!
Both… I tried to get this shot 13 times… it came out a little racist and lame, but appreciate it. APPRECIATE IT!

I’ve sat through an episode of Family Guy, Annie (the original), and taken enough selfies to sink a boat. I’ve put more links in this post than any of my previous ones. I keep hearing strange noises coming from upstairs, or from the neighbors. I can’t tell. Either this house is haunted, or under surveillance. Boy, that would be awkward. I’ve almost torn my clothes off in sheer panic twice now. Remember, if you have a Taydebear, take care of it. It doesn’t know what to do with itself when it is left alone. It becomes jumpy, scared, fearful, and bored out of it’s mind. Be warned. You may return to find the Taydebear barricaded in a fortress of pillows, blankets, and towels with food he stole from your cache. He might flick rubber bands at you, or scream when you walk through the door. You’ve been warned and informed. Use this information wisely.

Do you have a Taydebear in your life? Or a Lilypad? Or a Anniboo? Or any other kind of pet name for a pet-friend? Tell me about them! Comment by clicking on the “comment” button at the top of this post and tell me about them. What are some of your quirks that you’ve noticed about yourself when you’re left alone in awkward or strange situations?

I love you all. Thanks for reading! And remember: If you’re going to dream, dream BIG!

Did You Miss Me?

I really missed you guys and this blog. It has served as an outlet for my innermost thoughts and ideas. This last week has been full-fledged insanity and while I realize that is no excuse, I have not yet mastered the ability to to write a post every single day (which is a goal).

First, let me tell you what’s been going on this week:

It was CHRISTMAS! I do hope you all had a marvelous holiday (whichever one you celebrate). I did. I woke up late on Christmas morning (I desperately needed sleep after working crazy and nightmarish shifts at my retail job for four days straight) and went downstairs with the family to open presents. Last year, my loving family gave to me a series of condiments and crackers. My hopes and expectations were not high and I was totally okay with getting food. I am not the type that likes to receive gifts. Don’t ask me why; that’s another blog post. Anyway, I didn’t even ask for anything this year because I didn’t want to A) get my hopes up, and B) make my family purchase something for me that I would be uncomfortable unwrapping.

So you can image my surprise when THIS gift was unwrapped by yours truly:

It's also my very first TV.
It’s my very own TV!

32″ may not stun a whole lot of people, but you all have to realize I work a part-time minimum wage job, pay rent, insurance (both health and car), phone, gas, and for my own food. Much needed wanted furniture and electronics have been put towards the bottom of my list. Once all the basics are covered, I spend what remains of my money slowly trying to update my wardrobe, since I’ve been wearing the same clothes since Freshman year of High School (I must have been a reeeeally fat kid for all of this to still fit me). So all of these things combined added to my surprise and awe as peeled off the wrapping paper. I can honestly say that I am among the world’s most blessed. Yeah. I know it’s just a TV, but it is mine. It is beautiful, it’s not a hand-me-down, and it’s mine. It was a delightful feeling.

Of course there’s no place for it in my tiny room, so I’m keeping in the box until I move out. Which will be soon, if all goes according to plan.

There are many things I wish to speak of further, but I shall end here on this post. Thank you, my loving readers, for your support. Thank you for your patience. And thank you for being an inspiration to me. This blog helps me be a better human being. I know that might sound strange to some, but if you look at who I am when I’m not posting as opposed to who I am when I’ve just written a 600 word blog post about whatever it is that is on my mind, you’ll find that I stand a little taller, smile a little wider, and dream a little bigger.

Remember, my dearest ones, if you’re going to dream, dream BIG!

I Did It

In my last post, I talked about how to remain positive in the face of challenges. I told you guys about how I had to work an excessively long shift for someone like me in a job abounding in negativity. Let me tell you, these last 10 hours weren’t nearly as bad as I thought they were going to be. In fact, they were (dare I say it?) fun. That’s right. Fun. I had fun at work today. For 10 hours. I was really impressed with myself. To be fair, I might have had it easy: our meals were catered for seemingly no reason but the holiday madness, I actually got to take all my breaks, and we even managed to close up shop ten minutes early. Sure I had to deal with a few unpleasant people…. Oh, wait. No I didn’t. So that’s another thing in my favor. Weird.

You know what else happened? I got a cute girl to talk to me. She gave me a website where I can get new frames for my glasses at discounted prices! (Mine are haggard and over 3 years old). I got people telling me funny stories about their families. I related to people when talking about our pets. I even cheered someone up! Guys! The Power of Positive Thinking is incredible! You literally change the world around you. It’s phenomenal! I sang along to the crappy music, joked around with coworkers, and even made my manager laugh. My manager is a really funny guy and doesn’t laugh at my jokes very often. And for the first time since I’ve known him (over a year now), he actually gave me a formal goodbye WITH MY NAME. Unlike his normal “See you later” thing, this was an actual “See you later, Taylor.” and I was like:

We Is Serprized!!!

And here’s the weirdest – and possibly the coolest – part: This day was exceptionally ordinary. Had I now made a conscious decision that I was going to be happy today, that no matter what, I was going to be positive and cheerful, I think this day would have gone very differently. I had to train a noobie today. Someone stole an entire basket’s-worth of merchandise and got away with it. A customer blatantly told my coworker that I was wrong about something that I knew I wasn’t. (She insisted that the tie she wanted was 8 dollars when I literally sold that same kind of tie ((color, brand, and size)) to a different customer for 12 dollars) And you know what? I had every right to be unhappy today. My car… Oh jeez. That’s a whole blog post in and of itself. Not to mention, when I got home, I read through a hilariously long post about how my (and other people’s) methods of trying to surround ourselves with positive influences was the same as being ignorant to the world. (I have a blog post about that coming soon).

But would you believe it? I was happy. I was so happy, and I still am. I am cheerful, blissful, and I am doing great! Have I described the same thing enough times now? Has it sunken in? Yes? Good.

How did your day go? What steps did you take to prepare yourself to get into that happy state of mind? What kept you there? How different was your day? What are you going to do tomorrow?

Comment below. I see all these new followers (Welcome! by the way) and no comments. I cherish feedback and ideas and love a good discussion. I would be honored to hear from you all. What’s something you do to cheer yourself up?

I love you all and I am so grateful to have you in my life. Be strong. Be brave. And remember: If you’re going to dream, dream big!!!


PS. I meant to actually write this as a blog post, not it’s own page. But because I like the message, it’s going to stay there for now. When I figure out how to transfer it over, I will. So… Yeah…. Oops.

How to Raise a Sinking Ship

Over the last few months, I’ve been hitting several barriers in my life. Money, jobs, projects. Everything has been sluggishly moving along. It was discouraging and I started losing faith in myself. Whenever I get in mental states like that, I need to make drastic changes to snap me out of my slump. So this time I did what I’ve never done before: I cleared my social media.

To be specific, I went on Facebook and Twitter and deleted all those “friends” who posted negative, hurtful, or crappy posts that were meant to hurt me or others. People spammed my news feed with news articles about the most depressing things and then went on to complain about how wrong it was that these things were happening. Pages I “liked” and people I “followed” posted rude or insensitive jokes meant to demean each other. I caught myself using words like “moron” and “stupid” which are far from the colorful words in my vocabulary. But I caught myself using those words towards people I cared about and against myself. Wait a minute. This isn’t right! This is not how friends treat each other. And this is not how I should be treating myself. I don’t want to hear about what other stupid thing Congress did. I don’t want to hear about how your cat is better than your babydaddy. I don’t want to know your opinion on the Obama. It doesn’t matter if I agree with all of your opinions. You are deliberately trying to get people riled up. You are looking to get me riled up. And that… That is unacceptable.

Instead of giving warning to these negative influences, I ripped off the proverbial band-aid and deleted, unfollowed, and even blocked a few of these people. That might seem harsh, but here’s my reasoning: giving someone a warning is like giving someone a second chance to change. In this situation, that would have been inappropriate. I cannot control what other people say or do and I shouldn’t try. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and I respect that. I will not ask you to change how you think, how you speak, or what you post. If you bring me down, I just won’t pay attention to you anymore. Again, it sounds harsh. But if I’m giving them an ultimatum like, “hey, I know we’re friends and all, but if you want to stay on my Facebook you need to not post these things you’re feeling anymore,” then what’s the point of said friendship. Truth be told, I’m only associated with some of these people because Facebook made it easy to find people I went to High School with.

I purged my social media and even deleted some contacts from my phone. I was very proud of myself and for the first time in my life, I didn’t feel guilty. I have this nasty habit of feeling bad for everything I do, which I will go into that in a future blog post. This time, however, I felt free. I felt a weight lift off my shoulders. When I returned to those apps not two hours later, my entire feed had changed. It was beautiful. I actually teared up. I was now only seeing things that help raise me up, or made me laugh, or that were from people who meant a lot to me. And that’s the way (I think) it should be. It changed how I think, how I act, and how I feel in just a matter of days. After that, I decided it was time to start my blog. While not all of my posts are cheery and uplifting, they soon will be. Or at the very least, they will be entertaining.

So, my fellow pedestrians on this road of life, I am excited to say that I’m still learning, still growing, and I hope that I can become a positive influence on you. If you’re feeling down and you can’t pinpoint a reason, try unfollowing a few things. Try giving yourself a break from social media. Heck, try getting away from a computer for a bit. Take a few deep breaths and realize this one important truth: “It’s going to be okay.” I promise. I can’t wait to share my full story with you. I have so much to say, so much to share. As we get to know each other, we’ll become more open. But for now, I must bid you all a farewell. Hope you are all enjoying your weekend.

Thanks for reading and remember: If you’re going to dream, dream big!!!

PS. I know this is a lot of text and no pictures. I’m working on getting some more images. Thanks for your patience! 😀