Tag Archives: love

STORY TIME

A SPOON’S WORST NIGHTMARE

By Taylor Packer

((This story is from the perspective of a spoon. Contains graphic and disturbing images, language, and mild sexuality. Definitely not suitable for children under the age of 13.))

My name is Hogarth Cumbercorn. I’m a spoon. To be more specific, I’m an Oneida Michaelangelo Flatware Spoon from the Patterns for a Lifetime series. I’m often described as curvaceous and ornate, donning 18/10 stainless steel polished to perfection. I am a mirror of the world around me. All that shines onto my concaving and convexing faces is reflected back upon it. I am a perfect spoon.

That’s probably why the human treats the others and I so well. Every morning, I wake to the sight of my human, pulling open the drawer where he lays us to rest at the end of the day. I’m his favorite spoon. I’m one of a kind among these 12/10 stainless steels and colored plastics. I was even his favorite over the baby spoon he had since he was an infant. The way I fit into his mouth is like unto a tailored glove fits around a perfect hand. I’m the perfect hand, of course. My God-given body came without fingers so that none of my human’s milk and cereal could spill away. The milk was always cool, but never frigid. And just before it got too cold, he would warm me with his tongue. He was always so gentle; so careful to keep his teeth away from my mirror-like surface. He nicked me once, but I forgave him. He couldn’t hear me, of course, but he knows.

Today, after breakfast, he washed me by hand the way he always does. He rinsed me in warm water and ran his soapy hands along my body, cleaning me, purifying me. It was like my soul was being cleansed by the ritual of baptism. After I am washed and rinsed, he lifts me out of the sink and dries me with a towel. The towel was coarse at first, but once our wet forms pressed against it, it softens; almost as soft, warm, and wet as his mouth. He set me back in my drawer and his smile reflected off of me, smiling back at him.

I thought that would be the end of it. But it wasn’t…

I was woken from my slumber by a rumble. The drawer we were lying in shook violently. Something was happening. The wall was groaning and the knives were sliding all over themselves. What was happening?

Sudden silence took hold. All of the other utensils quivered slightly, but I stayed still, trying to listen for my human. The drawer suddenly jerked open and the harsh mid-day light stung us, glinting off our bodies like fire. It was blinding so blinding that I couldn’t see who had opened the drawer. I felt a huge hand grope all of the spoons and myself into a tight fist. I was lifted out of the drawer. It was Human. What was he doing? Why was he so angry? What had I done?!

He turned to the sink and that’s when I was taken aback. In the place of one of the cupboards, there was a box. It was stainless steel, but sheered to look more industrial; soulless. I happened to catch a glance at something near the base of its opening maw. It was a metal name tag that read “May-hag” or something. It opened wide for us as would the gates of hell and I saw row upon row of wire strainers and small cages protruding from skeletal shelves. I was shoved face-down into a small crate with the others. I tried to see between the curves of the others, but their panic made it impossible to reason with them. I could only reflect their fear. I heard and felt the forks follow suit; that is, they were crammed into a tiny crate as well. Then the knives. What the hell was happening?!

Then I heard and felt loud clanks. Plates? Bowls? Human was shoving everyone in this metal box. In the panic, I hadn’t had time to notice the smell. It smelled of iron and terror. This couldn’t be happening. All of us were trapped in this box, unable to understand why this new and twisted chamber had become our resting place. I tried to stay calm. Surely this was temporary. Human wouldn’t abandon us to this crammed, cold, clammy box. He wouldn’t. He loved us. He loved me. That’s when I heard laughter.

He was laughing. Dear God, Human was laughing! It made me feel sick, like I would sprout rust just by the sound of it. He closed the box, leaving us in total darkness. I could hear the concerned mutterings of the others. Everyone was panicking. Four years of being cared for and all of a sudden, we were here, in total darkness. Had it all been a lie? Had it all been a ploy to gain our trust?

Searing hot water blasted us from out of nowhere. Everyone screamed. I screamed. Liquid fire was trying to carve away my shiny surface. My skin… My skin was burning! It was being sanded off by the pressure. I could hear the baby spoon wailing, coughing, drowning. What sick monster would do this? The water stopped spraying and we could all breathe again. I wanted to find Baby Spoon and cover him, spoon him, keep him safe from whatever might come next. I wiggled against the others, but we were too tightly packed. I could hear the knives sobbing. They were always the emotional ones, but this time I just wanted to cry with them.

I caught of a whiff of boiling soap. This wasn’t over.

Scalding lava-water exploded around us, gyrating and twirling in a dance of death, hosing us down with a foul, waxy sanitizing agents. I could feel some of the plastic spoons shudder as their skins peeled away from their gooey, plastic flesh. They were melting. They were melting against me! I would screamed, but their plastic melted over my face. What horror! What horror!!!

The soapy water was replaced with the regular magma-water. I was able to push my way through the semi-solid corpses of my fallen spoon-brothers to get to Baby Spoon, but he was gone. There was no sign of him. He must have fallen through the holes in the bottom of the grate. I couldn’t hear him cry anymore. The water stopped and left us all in a burning steam. I could hear the bowls crying, the plates whimpering. The knives had gone silent.

Light crashed into the torture chamber and I saw the human smiling. The bastard was actually smiling! I was so angry, and so afraid. All I could think to do was play dead. He reached into the grates and pulled all the spoons free. He muttered a few curse words and peeled the dead semi-solid spoons from our group. I saw him toss them in the trash as if they were nothing. True, I was the greatest of his spoons, but dammit, they were spoons too! They were spoons too, you MONSTER!

Human tossed us haphazardly into our familiar drawer, one utensil type at a time, whistling as he went. Once we were all in our proper places, he slammed the drawer closed, leaving us alone. I was finally able to cry. I wept and the other spoons did too. We held one another close and mourned our losses. Half the plastics… and even poor, sweet Baby Spoon was gone. We were betrayed by our human.

We know it’s only a matter of time before Human kills us all. The Forks are planning to take him out tonight, after he goes to sleep. We know it’s a suicide mission, but justice must be wrought. There was talk of throwing him into the death box and cooking him alive, but we voted against that. Besides…. Revenge is a dish best served cold.

[[Thanks for reading, everyone. You’re fantastic. If you liked it, go ahead and hit “like”. Leave a comment, subscribe, share, the whole shebang. Your support is appreciated. You are what makes this blog possible. Thank you so much!]]

Week Recap!

What’s up, my lovely readers? How has your week been? Me? Oh, you know. I quit my job. Put a pause on a friendship. Just the normal stuff.

So at the start of this week (March 23rd), I handed in my two week notice at my current job. My boss is sad to see me go and says I am definitely eligible for rehire, should I need or want to come back. I’m very happy to be leaving on such good terms. One day after that the panic set in. What have I done? I left a stable job for virtually nothing; I had no real prospects in the works. This had to be a mistake. No. No it couldn’t be a mistake. I felt so sure of myself. I needed to leave. I couldn’t stay stagnant any longer.

Maybe the stress got to me, despite my positive attitude. I started another fight with a close friend of mine. He and I get along extremely well when we’re both happy, but if either one of us is in a bad place, we fight like our lives depend on it. It’s childish, but unavoidable. Before any of you say “but if you were more mature, you wouldn’t have this issue” I want to take a good, long look at yourself. I’m sure there are people who have the power to get under your skin no matter how hard you try and resist. If you’re perfect, please share your secret because I’m as imperfect as it gets. Needless to say, the fight carried over to the next day after we went our separate ways and I realized that this was extremely unfair to him and to me. I told him I needed a break and that hopefully we can still be friends. We ended our conversation with “I love you, no matter what” and haven’t spoken since. I mean it’s been less then a week, but it feels like forever.

After detaching myself from any kind of outside influence, I sat down and really thought about my future. Where was I headed? The roads were sprawled out before me and I could traverse any of them. I could go back to my job, out to other similar jobs, stick with my blogging and YouTubing and hope something happened, or any combination therein. But something hit me that hadn’t even occurred to me before: check those Facebook groups I’m a part of. I posted on a couple of these Facebook groups (all of which are dedicated to filmmaking in Arizona) that I was looking for an internship.

20 minutes later, I was offered an internship to work as a production assistant on an upcoming horror film called Carnitas Taco. I’m also going to be casting director and the director’s personal assistant. Carnitas Taco is a feature film that will go beyond regular internet popularity and end up in theaters and on either Showtime Stream or Netflix. Can you imagine?! Four days after putting in my notice, I was offered an internship for something I love more than breathing! It’s so exciting! I’m doing what I love, what I’ve dreamed of doing for years! Sure, I’m not making any money yet, but I’m networking.

THE POWER OF NETWORKING!

Life is changing. I’m moving up in the world, marching forward, and following my heart. I couldn’t be happier. Thanks for reading, guys. You’re all amazing and I’m so happy you’re in my life.

Dream big!

True Christianity

Today was an amazing day. However, at the last hour, I got a rather disturbing notification. A friend of mine manages a candy store in a neighboring city. It’s a fairly large corporation and is packed with every kind of candy you can imagine. Willy Wonka would be jealous. Among the many treats and candy-themed memorabilia are gag sweets and joke candies. Among those was a “marijuana breath spray.” It is very clearly meant to be a joke. First, the price is too cheap for it to be real marijuana. Second, it’s illegal to sell here in Arizona. Third, it says on the packaging that it isn’t real marijuana.

I should put a disclaimer that while I don’t smoke it, I don’t mind so much if other people do. To me, it’s like alcohol: a tool that muddles the mind and slows the senses. It’s not a toxic waste dump. It’s not crystal meth. It’s not going to spread like a virus from the smoker to the “helpless victims” on the same bus. It’s weed. Big deal. Now, that being said, I also don’t have a problem with people who think aforementioned things. I won’t have a problem if you think that smoking marijuana is wrong. I won’t care if you think that it is a danger to your children and to society. I won’t judge you if you think that it’s a sin to use God’s plants in such a way. However, there is something else that bothers me.

I hate when self-proclaimed disciples of Christ use His name to spew slander at organizations that support the use of marijuana. First off, this candy store wasn’t even supporting anything. They had a gag candy. I might also point out they had some very hilarious fake poop chocolates. Doesn’t mean they think kids should go around eating poop! When a leader – a true, passionate leader – uses his/her influence over the masses to not only A) tell an outright lie, and B) publicly bash any establishment, said leader is abusing his/her power.

To be less vague, here’s the story:

A religious fanatic walked into a candy store and found this fake marijuana breath spray. He whips out his smart phone and proceeds to record himself while spinning around, careful to get an entire view of the candy store. He introduced the store, gave it’s name and location, and then held up the fake spray and loudly said “They are selling marijuana to kids!” He then proclaimed that this was affront on the communities children. He then urged all of his followers (which are in the range of millions), to spam his… sorry… OUR outrage (because clearly he speaks for us all) to the store’s public Facebook profile, their corporate office, and their in-store phones. Within the next few minutes, the store was alight with rage from concerned parents, anti-marijuana activities, and community officials. The News swooped in and said they’d be arriving in the morning to cover the story.

I am totally okay with you having an opinion. I am totally okay with you having an opinion that is entirely different from my own. I honestly don’t care. If you hate it that bad, fine. That’s totally fine. Boycott it. Keep your children from the store. I think it’s excessive and a little silly, but fine. That’s okay. That’s totally okay.

But how dare you claim to be a disciple of Christ and set the dogs on anyone or anything like that? How dare you call yourself a follower of Christ? When, in any record, did Christ waltz into an establishment and go “Hey! This place is evil! Everyone, destroy it! DESTROY IT, MY FAITHFUL SHEEP!”? Some of you who haven’t studied the bible thoroughly might point out when Christ entered the temple of His Father and saw the merchants there. He cast them all out. That temple was a house of God, not a shopping mall. So don’t go INTO A SHOPPING MALL and THROW STONES AT THE CORPORATION.

What this person did, as a human being, was totally inappropriate. You can be passionate and fight for your cause. That’s okay. But you march into a store, high and mighty, and say “DESTROY THIS DEVIL’S HOUSE, MY SHEEP!” and you instantly lose all credibility as a respectable human being. But worse than that, you soil your name. And if you bear Christ’s name – Christ, who was perfect – then you damn well better live up to it.

To the anti-religion people out there looking at this going “See? THIS is what I was talking about…” know that you aren’t wrong here. But religion, true religion, isn’t about power, or throwing stones. It’s about bringing people closer to God, to their bliss, to their truth.

To the religious people out there, I’m so sorry you are being dragged down by this moron. You are good people, with good hearts and good intentions. So please, for your sake, and the sake of your children, live up to your good intentions. Don’t let people like this man hurt your name, your religions name, or Christ’s name.

I strive to live up to the good name of Christ, in my own way. I may not follow all of His teachings to the letter, but I take His second most important commandment to heart: Love thy neighbor as yourself. Love is the most powerful thing in the world. We must love one another, love each other, and love even our enemies.

To the man who blatantly misused his influence under Christ’s banner, shame on you. To ALL to preach hate and rage under the name of Christ, shame on you. Nevertheless, I still love you. I may not respect you, but we are all Children of God. We are all members of the Human race. We are all in this life together, forever. Let us love one another, tolerate each other’s mistakes, and teach the future generations of this world that hate only creates more hate. As Yoda, the wise (albeit fictitious) councilor once said: “hate leads to suffering.” Suffer no more. Let go of hate. And let’s all build a better world together.

Love is all we need.

Thanks for reading. I love you all, from the deepest parts of my heart. Remember: if you’re going to dream, dream BIG!

On Being Single

Being single is arguably one of the most liberating things ever. You don’t have to answer to anyone but yourself. You can fart in your own home without having to blame it on the animals. You get to gorge on all your favorite stuff without having to filter any of it out for your lover. You’re free!

But you’re also alone.

It’s hard. Your ex-S.O. is moving on, already in a relationship before you. Oh hey. Mine’s been in two! Yeah. Not that I can really talk. My relationships typically last under 8 months and I have a five month grieving period before I pick the next model off the shelf and give a whirl. But such is life. I fell madly, deeply, passionately in love for the first time three years ago, but it made me insane-r than I already was. I dated a prison guard. That was pretty cool, but short. This last one, I was so ready to settle down and make it work. I was the only one willing to do that though. So now I’m here, alone.

If you look around on various popular dating sites, you might find an old (and less old) profile of mine just floating around. One such site has offered some in-depth looks at my personal character and the type of person I need. A slave to my emotions, I normally fill out these forms in whatever way suits my mood. But today is different. I’m tired, I’m honest, I’m lonely. So I started to fill out the first form it offered me. It had a hundred questions and whatnot. The results were exactly what defines me as a person, which isn’t terribly astounding because I answered every question with the most brutal honesty I could muster. What they told me about myself, however, was beyond enlightening. I then proceeded with form number two. By this time, I felt emotionally exhausted from all of this deep soul diving.

As I read the results, I started to cry. Okay. More like, I felt like crying, but didn’t because my tear ducts don’t work anymore.

The first test listed the traits that I had and warned me of traits that I possessed that weren’t healthy. The second told me of the type of person I actually wanted, as opposed to what I thought I wanted. This second list told me not only who I wanted to date, but the kind of person I wanted to be. The first list told me what I needed to fix to get that way. It was profound. I have a lot of work to do before I’m ready to date seriously again. I didn’t actually realize how damaged I am from my past relationships, how they’ve all carried over into my current ones. I’ve never noticed how they have both completely crushed my self-esteem and given me knew and revitalized esteem. Of self. My it’s late.

Being single is possibly the worst thing in the world and while I am certainly grateful for the time off and the time I have to repair my sad, damaged heart, I can’t wait for this dry spell to be over. I can’t wait until I’m with the One. Holding hands, laughing, playing pranks on each other, exercising together, spending time apart from each other just so that when we’re reunited we get all excited and goofy. It’s a long journey, but it’s worth the wait.

To my future partner (in crime and love), I love you. I can’t wait to meet you. I hope you sleep well and dream big.

Goodnight.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

Having been single on almost every single Valentines day ever, I surprise myself by saying that it’s one of my favorite holidays. An entire day devoted to reminding yourself of the importance of love. I personally think that love is the greatest thing in the universe and that it deserves its own holiday.

That said, it sucks not getting anything on Valentines Day. That’s why I’m extremely grateful to the person who bought me a rose, a box of red velvet cake-flavored chocolates, a singing pug-themed Valentine’s Day card, and a balloon. The balloon was heart shaped and is not in the picture above because at night it moves around and makes a scary shadow and bumps into things making me thing there is an intruder. I’ve hidden the balloon and only bring out during the daylight hours.

Let me tell you how special I feel, receiving something on Valentine’s Day, even when I’m single…

It makes me feel this special. Or in other words, quite. I feel bad being poor sometimes because I can’t go out and get you flowers, or take you to dinner, or buy something to show you how much I care. I know there are other ways to show you, so that’s what I’ll try to do. Thank you for making every holiday special, even when you don’t have to.

What kinds of things did you do today? Did you hang out with you S.O.? Did you make your single friends feel better? Did you run over all the happy couples in your imaginary bus? Comment below, let me know.

Goodnight everyone. Remember: I love you all!

What Goes Down Must Come Up!

Somewhere in high school, I obtained this strange notion that “no one loved me” and that “I didn’t deserve love” and so on. These small feelings grew and consumed me. Much of my teen years were spent lost in doodling and drawing comics to avoid the pain of reality. As I matured into an adult, these feelings were only magnified. Who was I? Where am I going? What am I doing with myself? Life now stood before me and I was unprepared to take it by storm. Why? Because I had locked it out of my mind during my teen years.

So, what brings this up Taydebear?” you ask. Well, dearest reader, allow me to tell you:

Tonight I was a jerk. I am frequently inconsiderate, but not as bad as I was tonight. Wielding the personality of a turd, I refused to become uplifted by the kindness and generosity of a dear friend. Why? Because I’m stressed. What does that have to do with anything? Everything. Like the Fairies of Neverland, I’m so small that I can only feel one emotion at a time. When I feel it, it’s all consuming. Be this joy, pain, love, hate, or (like it has been for the last two months) STRESS. Stress. What a nasty word. I won’t go into what I did exactly, but let me tell you this: I was mean, downright rude, and inconsiderate to a person who has literally done me no wrong since the moment I met him. I cannot think of a time where he has done anything deliberately or otherwise to hurt or offend me, despite the countless times I have done so to him. I realized this at dinner, which is why I didn’t order anything. I was afraid that if I allowed myself to enjoy the kindness he was offering, I would lose it.

He dropped me off after a painfully long and silent car ride, during which I wanted to scream at him: “I’M SORRY! I’M BEING A DINGUS!” But alas, no such words escaped my gaping noise void. If they had, I would have unleashed all the emotional stress I had been building up over the last two to three months. We pulled up to my house and I got out with a quick “Goodnight” and walked around to the back of the house. I hadn’t even gone through the back gate before I started to feel overwhelmingly sad. I spent the next half hour bawling my eyes out behind my house. I fell into a dark place that I haven’t been in in several years. It was so real, so unnerving. My dad found me and we hugged. He, my mom, and I all sat down in their room and talked long and hard about what I’m dealing with.

I told them my worries, my griefs, and my pains. After I got it all out, they offered comfort, tough love, and genuine compassion. They assured me that they weren’t going anywhere, that they’d help me through whatever this nonsense is. My goal to move out is still soon, but maybe not so far as originally intended. We are doing this as a team. Those are my parents. They love their children unconditionally. They give and give and give, hoping to help me grow. They may not have done a perfect job, but they did all they could, and by golly… It’s enough for me.

As to the man I spoke of earlier. I did text him back and apologize. Profusely. And while I feel he has forgiven most of my stupidity, he still hurts from the things I said and did. I must address this man and his character, as I feel I have not captured the truth behind this individual…

This man, who shall remain nameless, might not know what he means to me. (Don’t get your undies in a twist or anything. I’m not talking romantically. Weirdos) He is the kind of person that I met at my brightest time, and he shined brightly with me. We took the world and all its woes in our stride and we have both grown in many ways since we first met. It’s been inspiring to watch his transformation. This man, time and time again, has proven that when he says he wants me to be happy, he means it. This goes back to the beginning… I didn’t deserve love. Especially right now. I behaved like an uncultured swine. Some village somewhere had lost their idiot. It was profoundly disappointing. My behavior, short and simple, was unacceptable. As an adult, as a human being. And yet… even now… He still cares for me. How? Why? I don’t understand. I can’t understand. I mean, sure, I love everybody I come into contact with. I even love those really annoying customers who yell at me for doing my job. I mean, I don’t THANK them for that, but still. We’re all family, right? But why me? What did I do to deserve it?

I don’t know, but dang… I’m sure glad I did it. Mom and Dad and I are working on getting me some professional help. We’re seeking a good doctor who will give me some perspective and maybe some meds. And I’m so excited! Guys! I’m going to be sane soon! The good kind of sane! There’s this stupid stigma with mental illness and such, but people need to get over themselves, admit they have some issues, and go work on them. I told y’all this was the year of the Tay! I am going to rise up to the challenge. I’m going to be living in a new place, with a new job(s), starting my career, building my company, finishing my movie, and hey, maybe – HOPEFULLY – making the world a better place. I know I can do this. I know I can conquer this, or at the very least, I can learn to handle it. You guys have no idea what you’re all capable of.

Be brave, my lovely, powerful readers. Be strong. Life is going to be hard. Life is going to have some sucky moments. But there are people out there who love you, no matter what. And love you, no matter what.

Remember: what goes down must come up. And if you’re going to dream, dream BIG!

Milkshakes

Romance is hard. Or at the very least, finding it is hard. I’ve tried many-a-thing; online dating, blind dates, dating exes (not recommended unless you like repeats), asking out friends, flirting at bars, etc. etc. etc. So far, I’ve had some luck, but it normally doesn’t last. I’ve had lots of fun, lots of adventures, etc. etc. ETC.!!!!

I’ve resorted to witchcraft.

Not really, but there is some magic involved. I thought, “Hey. What will bring those that I wish to date to the premises?” That’s when I tried the milkshake. A banana, an ice cream cone, two scoops of vanilla ice cream, and a half-cup of milk. It was delicious. I waited, slurped, and waited some more. Slurped. Waited. Slurped again. Slurped even more. Choked. Coughed. Slurped. Waited. Nothing. I’m disappointed. Ah well….

My Milkshakes DON'T bring boys to my yard.
My Milkshakes DON’T bring boys to my yard.

Chin up, my lovelies. We’re going to find our soulmates, or whatever. Believe in yourselves! And remember that you are worth all the love in the world. Love ya!

Sleep well and dream big!

UNCONDITIONAL

**Disclaimer: this post delves into my personal beliefs centering around religion. If you are uncomfortable reading people’s opinions of faith, I recommend you come back for my post later this evening (12/28/2014). Thanks for visiting!**

**Disclaimer 2: I had to write this while listening to people argue in the next room so it’s going to be hard to understand.**

UNCONDITIONAL: adj. not subject to any conditions; absolute. Many of you have heard or even used this word at some point in your life and it is often followed by something like “love” or some other equally appropriate word. This word is also often found in religion, especially of Christian denominations when describing the love Jesus Christ has for the world. Surprisingly enough, Christ’s “unconditional love” is often seen by people outside the religions as the exact opposite. They view it as “do what I say or you’ll go to hell.”

I’m going to write a quick post to argue the point. As a Christian, I not only believe in Christ, but also His unconditional love He has for all people. Race, gender, sexuality, age, and so on are unimportant to Christ and therefore do not hinder one’s ability to receive the love that is pouring from His ever-flowing fount. “Well, then what are the rules and commandments for?” some argue. “Why would someone who claims to love you without condition then go and tell you what to do and what not to do?”

My answer would be something like this: “Why would any parent ever tell their children what to do and what not to do?” Think about it. Really think about it. Why? Why would a parent say “Hey. Don’t do drugs.”? Is it because that parent doesn’t want their child to have fun? Is it because that parent is a stick in the mud? Or is it, perhaps, because that parent doesn’t want their child to get hurt, to become reckless or dependent, and so on. Well, say the child goes and does some drugs. Just a little weed or something. No biggie, right? Maybe not to the kid, but what about the parent? Does the parent just go “Well, I asked you not to do that, but that’s okay.” Probably not. The parent will more than likely be disappointed. The parent might even be hurt by their child’s disobedience. For this reason, the parent takes away the kid’s cell phone (that the parents pay for). So how does this mean they stop loving their child? Really. I want to know.

Granted, being sent to Hell is a bit worse than getting one’s cell phone privileges revoked. So let’s look at that for a moment.

In my personal belief, not necessarily doctrine from my faith, Hell is a state of being, of mind, of soul. It’s not a place. And God does not put us there. Our Father, our Creator, would never, ever send us to hell, no matter what evil we have committed against Him and His children, our fellow man. So then why does it say “sinners shall be damned” in various ways throughout the bible and other holy texts? Well, because that’s what will happen when we leave God. God, our Father, and His Son, Jesus Christ, set up a perfect plan to allow us, the most imperfect of people to return to God’s presence and live eternally with Him and His Son and all others who follow His teachings. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You’ve heard that before. But I’m basically just proving your point, right? No. Look deeper.

God does not put us in hell (this is my theory). Right? When we abandon Him, when we stray, when we go down a path that isn’t what He had intended for us, He can no longer bless us. Not that He doesn’t want to, or that He doesn’t love us, but that it wouldn’t be fair. How could it be? Just stabbed your neighbor? Oh, well, no biggie. God loves you. Here’s a bunch of good things to make your perfect life even better. No. Just… No.  You don’t reward dogs when they pee on the furniture. You don’t reward children when they throw a fit in the store. You don’t give rewards to those who are deliberately disobeying you.

So maybe you don’t like all of God’s commandments. I’m certainly at odds with a few of them (very deep post coming soon). But He’s God. He’s a pure and perfect being who knows everything and probably knows what will keep us safe, happy, healthy, sane, and so on. Why would He ever do or command things that were not for our benefit? It doesn’t make sense. He loves us. He loves you. He wants nothing more than for you to be happy. That’s why we are free to do things His way or our own way. And yes, He supports whatever decision you make, at least in the sense that He will not interfere. He loves us more than we can ever understand, more than we are capable of receiving or even comprehending. His love moves mountains, parts oceans, and raises the dead. But that’s not what truly makes this love special.

What makes it so special is this: He will always love you, now and forever, no matter who you are, who you were, or who you will become. You are His child and He knows you better than you know yourself. He will always love you. You may not put yourself in a position where you are receptive to that love and that makes Him sad. He wants nothing more than for you to be happy. If you think you can happy on your own, by golly, do that! Don’t conform to someone else’s prescription of happy pills. They won’t work for you. Don’t follow something you have no faith in. Don’t do that which makes you miserable.

But do not forget, even if it doesn’t feel like it, He still loves you. I have seen it in my life. I am undeserving of His love, of his gifts, and yet, every day, there are things I cannot explain that happen because He is watching over me. I make bad choices and right now The Man in the Sky and I aren’t really on speaking terms. But I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that He does love me, now and forever. Forever. Can you imagine? What a vast and powerful thing. I am grateful for that love in my life and for the example it is in my life.

Whether you’re Christian or Buddhist or Muslim or Atheist or whatever you identify as; whether you’re homosexual, bisexual, heterosexual, or pansexual; whether you’re American, French, Iraqi, or Canadian; whether you’re white, black, yellow, or red; whatever you are, whoever you are, and whatever you choose to be, I will love you. will always love you. You are amazing. You are beautiful. You have unlimited potential. You are a Child of God and that not only makes you royalty, that makes you my family. Agree with me or not, I still love you. Everyone matters. You matter.

Thanks for reading. And remember: if you’re going to dream, dream BIG!

TL;DR — You’re amazing and I love you all. God loves you too and stuff.