Tag Archives: epic

It Gets Better

Avid Tay Talks readers, do you recall the beginning of this year? I gave insight to my personal fears and struggles and I was losing myself in my problems. It was a rough few months filled with anxiety and fear. But I stuck it out and promised myself that I would show you guys that if I could do it, so can you. Do what, you ask? Simply put: improve yourselves. Maybe you’re already at the top of your foodchain or you’re a millionaire or successful in your own rights. Great! But I’m not. I’m not even close to my fantasy life I built in my head. (that’s another thing I’d like to talk about if I remember.)

But I’m closer than I was in January. This year is my year, I kept repeating. I quit my retail jobs and now I’m employed elsewhere. I’m not going to say where I am exactly, but I will tell you about my day at work.

I arrived promptly at 2pm, ready to fill out paperwork and meet some people. I go into the building and ride the elevator to the top floor. (It’s only 3 stories, but it’s the tallest building on the block.) Inside, I meet the friendly Sir Receptionist Man (yes, I forgot his name and I’m sorry) and he alerts the manager of my presence. One of the three managers who interviewed me appears. He was clean shaven and had a haircut since I last saw him. He was also way taller than me, dressed in black (manager color-coded shirt), with a white lanyard that was peppered with Disneyland pins. I think “Yes. This is going to be a fun place to work.”

He leads me down a hall that is decorated entirely with basketball and football sports flags from all over the country. Collegiate and NFL, so you know that sports are big here. As we enter the main office, there are no cubicles; just rows of glass desks, large double monitors, and people in white (training) and blue (proctor) polos. Everyone is wearing a lanyard with one of four colors (which I will explain the significance of soon). There are bobble heads on the dividers. I see Chewbacca, Deadpool, Han Solo, and a delicious cast of characters from various pop and cult films and shows. That made me want to giggle like a schoolgirl. Then I turn and see it: A STORM TROOPER! That’s right. A Star Wars Storm Trooper, towering over all of us, a red company lanyard around its neck. It’s just sitting in the corner, busy being awesome and all that.

At the end of the office, where I was going to work on the official employee documents, was a wall that was just one big window. It looked out over the parking lot below and– Oh. What’s that? Is that… the shopping center I used to work at?! Holy crap! Across the street! Right there! Oh my gosh! It’s really….! Yup. That’s right. I was now ABOVE my old place of work. That’s a really horrible thing to say, so allow me to explain why this moment was so important for me.

While working retail, I was unhappy. Okay, I was miserable. I hated it. I loathed it. Nothing made me feel more useless than standing there, taking the crap from ungrateful people who were infuriated by my inability to take their used underwear that they had no proof of purchasing from us. I was truly unhappy. I felt low. Really low.

At this new job, I felt welcomed, excited, passionate, driven, challenged, and encouraged. And one of the best parts? My desk looked out over the previous job. I actually teared up. The eyes lodged in my sockets were quite wet! WET, I SAY! I had done it. I had not only mentally and financially moved up in the world, but I was there, physically, above it. I had risen out of the depths of my despair, risen above the struggles and the crap that I was trudging through, and moved on. I knew that if I listened to my heart, truly listened, that I would be happier. It took a bit longer than I would have liked, but I’m glad it did. Had it gone too fast, I don’t think I’d have the same drive, let alone the same reaction I had today.

So anyway, I filled out the paperwork and then I sign in for something that I think is the coolest thing:

My new company has a personality quiz that all new employees must take. They evaluate your personalities and organize us into groups. To be honest, it felt like I was being sorted into a House at Hogwarts. I was excited. (Disclaimer: we are not put into castes that are above or below each other. This system is installed so that we would know how to approach one another, how to work with each other, how to respond to each other. It was designed to allow us to communicate efficiently. I loved it.) So here are the “Houses” of this company:

Yellow: Fun, Energetic, Happy.

Red: Passion, Demanding, Driven.

Blue: Intimate, Caring, Emotionally Available.

White: Peace, Mediator, Independent.

There were a lot of blues. Two of the Three managers I met were blues. I saw a lot of blues on the floor. It made me nervous. Would I be a blue? I mean, I imagined myself as being the kind of person who would respond the way a blue would to clients and coworkers. So… why wouldn’t I be? My immediate thought was “PLEASE DON’T BE BLUE!”

“Not Slytherine, not Slytherine!”

The idea that I would wind up having to eventually wear a blue shirt and lanyard to work terrified me. These were my uniform colors back at my retail job. I understand and respect all colors, but at work, blue is totally inappropriate. Blue is passive, soft, gentle, and (often associated with) slothulness. I really didn’t want it. I wanted yellow. I wanted to be fun and charismatic and energetic and happy. So as I’m taking this test, I see a Yellow (name unknown) start talking to my manager. He’s totally confident, funny, nerdy, and awesome. I go, “yeah, I could be a yellow. It’d be a lot to live up to, but I could be a yellow.”

The test was a long series of “what were you like as a kid” questions followed by a lot of “how does this make you feel” questions. It was pretty straightforward, but I couldn’t figure out what answers went with corresponding colors, so I couldn’t cheat my way into yellow if I tried. In the end, I figured the way I had answered, I’d be blue. I almost cried in sorrow. Please…. Please not blue…

Then my results came in.


What? White? Really? I watched the video explanation of why they thought white was my color. I represent peace. My goal in the workplace is to keep people happy and to make sure nothing gets in the way of that happiness. I was actually humbled by my result. I answered every question as honestly as possible and they viewed me as a “White”. I was elated. “NOT BLUE!” I said aloud. “I’m WHITE!” I don’t think my coworkers knew I wasn’t talking about my race until my manager laughed.

This job is awesome. The training will be a bit tough, but I’m a fantastic customer service rep. I got this made. And a White? Peace? PEACE?! That’s the coolest thing ever! I love it. I absolutely love it. I am Peace, my soul mate is a Yellow, for sure. And I can’t wait to get things rolling. I want to grow. I want to rise up in the ranks here. Not because I want power, but because I want to be able to work here and support myself and others until my own personal company rises to fruition. This company is “the one”. I am excited. And I can’t wait to share everything with you.

You guys are awesome. You guys can do anything. Switch careers, switch majors, whatever. You don’t have to be trapped where you are now. If you’re unhappy, get out! It’s scary, it’s intimidating, and it’s rough. It is not easy at all. But you can do it. You can do it! If I can do it, if I can find a job that isn’t retail (the only thing I’m trained for) and change my life and career path, so can you! You got this, guys and gals. You got this. I love you all so very much. I’m proud of you and all you’ve done. I can’t wait to see what you do next.



Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night: Interstellar

This post is important to me, so it has been written and edited over the course of several days. I hope you find it insightful and recommend you see the movie before reading this review as there will undoubtedly be spoilers. It’s not a review, per say. It’s more along the lines of “I’m spewing my thoughts and feelings about this movie onto my blog” kind of post.

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Whether or not Dylan Thomas meant it or not, to me, this poem that is repeated throughout the movie is about mankind’s drive to push forward and fight for survival. We, as a people are dreamers, explorers, and survivors. The world has thrown many challenges are way and we always find a way. Cooper, played by Matthew McConaughey, even says “We’ll find a way, Professor. We always have.” This is at least half the premise of this film. We watch as a father risks his life to find a way to save his family and “millions of other families” by leaving the world we call home in a desperate attempt to find another.

Far from home

The other half of the movie is about a father’s relationship with his daughter. Murphy (or “Murph”) is a very intelligent redheaded lass with a heart filled with love for her father, passion for understanding the universe, and strength when faced with the fate of the world. She stays on earth while Cooper and a team of scientists are sent on the last mission NASA can send into a wormhole to another solar system in another galaxy. Talk about long-distance. Cooper faces various challenges from personal betrayal to the laws of physics themselves. Time becomes his greatest enemy as it becomes relative when he approaches Gargantua.

The Heart of Darkness

The Devourer, a beast of tremendous ferocity, and one of the coolest things I’ve ever seen on the big screen; Gargantua is a representation of what a black hole would actually look like (with an accretion disk added to give perspective). It was a titan onscreen and it shook me when I first saw it. Could you imagine taking a wormhole to another galaxy to the only habitable worlds within range and discovering that they all orbit a black hole?! It blew my mind. I couldn’t have been more excited. This was when the film turned into more than just another movie. I felt that this was a masterpiece.

And I still do. Interstellar is able to present a captivating story, brilliant scientific theory, compelling characters, and the coolest robots you’ve ever seen into a single film. Flawlessly. However, after watching this movie again, I have to admit that the main reason it resonated so perfectly for me, was the score.

Mastery of Music

Hans Zimmer is one of my favorite composers. His work on Christopher Nolan’s Batman series and Disney’s Pirates of the Caribbean are some of my favorite soundtracks ever. When he revolutionized the film score industry with the iconic “Inception BWUAAAAAH!” I knew he was going to make something that truly struck a chord in my heart. The other soundtracks were great, but I felt like the emotional bond I wanted to have had not yet been formed. Until Interstellar.

I knew I would love this film, but I set that aside so I could have a fresh experience and be unbiased. Within the first five minutes my excitement was already back and overwhelmingly high. Every moment of the film, even the time Cooper was still on earth, was important and vital to understanding the characters and plot. There wasn’t a single moment out of place and I couldn’t believe how well it was put together. And then he goes into space. I got a little nervous about the robots, a little nervous about the wormhole, a little nervous about the planets and the black hole. And then, when he and the crew pass through the wormhole, my face froze in my excited smile face. I’ll take a picture of that next time it happens, as I can’t replicate it without the genuine experience. It’s pretty derpy.

Murph and Coop

I felt every emotion that I was hoping to feel and had a wonderful experience watching this film. Rewatching it, I felt the same thing. Nothing had diminished. I love this film and it’s a solid 10/10 on my scale. For those of you who don’t know, only 3 other movies out of the thousands I’ve seen have ever made it to 10/10. I’m very picky. This film will live forever in my heart and mind and I’m so grateful to have the experience of watching it.

We live in a time when movies are held back only by our imaginations and this film pushes us beyond anything we’ve seen before. We get to explore fantastic worlds, experience every human emotion, and walk away from this dreaming about our place in the universe. This movie made me feel small, but undeniably special. Humans are filled with potential and we are capable of great and terrible things. Christopher Nolan manages to show us all of this in a single film and I’m so happy that he did. (I plan on doing an entire post about Christopher Nolan soon, so keep checking back for updates.)

Thanks for reading, you guys. You’re all amazing. I hope you get a chance to look up at the sky and wonder about our place in the stars. Many blessings, all the joy, happy happy things for you. Etc.

Remember: if you’re going to dream, dream BIG!