Category Archives: Uncategorized

Hate

For those of you who want something deeper than the dime-a-dozen spewings of “you guys are awesome because reasons” and really want the truth about why we are the way we are, this post is probably the most accurate I’ve come across. Relatable to a tee, I find Genette’s words build more than just her backstory. They cut through the bologna that we hide behind and reveal some truths about the way our generation was raised and the way our generation will likely raise their children.

We need only to wake up from dreams of “acceptance” and move into a world of respect. Respecting one another is critical to our development. And remember, every word you will ever say matters.

Behind the Barrier

Because of the absurd length this post reached, I have done a 15-minute audio recording in case you have other things you need to be doing.

I was raised to hate myself.

Maybe it was accidental. Maybe it was on purpose. I’m starting to disagree that hindsight is 20/20. More often than not, hindsight is colored by our intrinsic optimism or intrinsic pessimism. One of the few blessings of being bipolar is that I can see the past from both sides, depending on the day.

I digress.

You’ve probably been told a lot of the same things I’ve heard. Let’s recount the basics:

  • “You will never be as good as I was.”
  • “You will never be as pretty as I was.”
  • “You need to try to be as thin as I was at your age.”
  • “You aren’t funny. Stop talking.”
  • “You aren’t smart enough to do that.”
  • “There’s nothing you…

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Temporary Break

I’ll be going on hiatus for a while. Just a few weeks. My laptop charger died and my finances are so stiff right now that I can’t be bothered to get a new one.

I’m happy to say that I am starting fresh. The world is changing and my excitement is bursting at the seams. I just had to let all of you wonderful readers know. Thanks again. Much love.

I did it.

It’s official. I handed my two weeks to my boss yesterday. My last day is April 6th. I feel so relieved and so nervous. Where do I go from here? Who do I want to be? These questions haunt me and excite me. I’ll keep you guys posted. Love you all.

My Job and I

It’s never a good idea to talk about your job in a less-than-positive way on the internet. Perhaps I do so because I want advice, but I’m too prideful to directly ask for it.

I am a retail associate at a fairly large corporation that has stores dotting the United States. The retail industry isn’t hard to get into. You have to have a mostly-working body and be brain-dead and you can land any starting position you can think of. I’ve been doing this ever since I was 18. Five years. What have these five years amounted to career-wise? What have I gained?

Nothing, actually. I mean, I can slap these five years on a resume to help ensure getting yet another entry-level position somewhere else, but that’s about it. Recently I was contacted by several different people working for Vemma and it was rather interesting, but I know my personality. I know I could make it big with their company and probably end up financially independent in less than a year. But doing so requires a lot of effort for something I don’t necessarily have a passion for.

All I know is this: I cannot continue at the job I’m at and expect to be financially independent or emotionally secure. I want to take a risk and “be my own man” and so on. I am not sure what to do or where to go. I haven’t any savings left. My job doesn’t cover my bills and expenses and I drained my savings trying to support myself. The only reason I’m not homeless is because I’m living with my parents. Woot. I’m not okay where I’m at. I need to move forward. I need to move up.

During this time of thought, I remembered watching The Secret. I have to change my perspective, change my attitude, change my everything. The path I set myself on is not going to give me what I want. So I think it’s time I left this road. But where do I go from here? How do I change? Who should I surround myself with? What actions do I need to take? What habits do I need to build? These questions are rumbling around in my head. I’m scared. I’m excited. I can make these changes, I just need guidance.

Together We Will Live Forever

Today was an interesting day. I went to work for a relatively short shift and managed not to blow all my money in one sitting. I came home, enjoyed lunched. Cleaned up, watched The Office, etc etc etc… And then I found something on Facebook. In a nutshell, instead of being buried in a stainless steel coffin, your corpse would be placed in the fetal position in a pod and buried with a sapling of a particular tree of your choice. The tree would grow, nurtured by the nutrients from your body. The project was started in Italy and hasn’t really happened yet. But the concept got me thinking about “green” death. I followed a few links and ended up watching a documentary on the subject. It was emotional and it sorta resonated with me in ways I hadn’t experienced in a while.

I was thinking about my death.

How odd. At first I was devastated. For those of you who don’t know, I’m planning on living forever, beyond the end of time itself. That said, if I can’t achieve immortality by then, I expected to be buried the way everyone else seems to; pumped full of formaldehyde and dropped 6 feet into the earth. And lately I’ve been coming across other forms of dealing with my remains; be that memorial diamond or cremation or green burial. I’ve decided upon a few things:

I wish to be buried in a field or forest beneath a sapling so that my body will fuel the tree. I demand that everyone wear bright spring colors to my funeral. No one is allowed to wear black. As I’m being lowered into the ground, I want to have Eric Whitacre’s Sleep sing me away. And then I want everyone to go have fun. Party, whatever. Happiness must abound everywhere.

I realize this is some heavy stuff to tell the internet. So let me now share my opinion of death:

It sucks.

Okay, to elaborate: I do not believe death is natural. I find it very un-natural. It is the antithesis of natural, in fact. The evolutionary pattern we’ve been on for millennia has proved we are fighters. We want to live. We reproduce because we have failed to achieve immortality. Our bodies aren’t built to survive forever. That doesn’t mean it’s normal or natural. And reproducing is great because then we have kids and families, and so on. I get that. I’m not saying we shouldn’t reproduce or anything.  What I am saying, is that we have no reason to not live forever, or at the very least, indefinitely.

That said, our bodies haven’t caught up to this mentality. This means that our bodies will eventually fail us. I personally believe in the immortal soul; the concept of a spirit version of ourselves that will exist even after our bodies die. Whether or not we turn into energy and scatter around the universe, remain individuals locked in a limbo-like dimension, transcend to a new form of living, I don’t know. I really don’t. I mean, I have faith that we are immortal, spiritually. But I can’t provide you with any proof. Not by myself. So, say our bodies fail us and we die. Any number of things could happen to our consciousnesses after that. So, why not prepare for any and every eventuality? Plant a tree over my grave so I can become one with the tree and build a treehouse in my branches. Compound part of me into a diamond to keep me unaging and physically indestructible forever. Do what needs doing. I will exist, always and forever. In this form or the next. And if I will, you will.

Together we will live forever.

Want to Buy Some Magic?

Unicorns, fairies, and Harry Potter. All of these things have (at least) one thing in common. Can you guest what it is? Can you? I bet you can. Because you’re smart. You’re smart people….. Smart people.

Okay, so in case you’re having some trouble, I’m talking about magic. Magic, as defined by Google, is “the power to apparently influence the course of events by using mysterious or supernatural forces.” Telekinesis, weather manipulation, mind reading, and much more at the palm of your fingertips. That’s right. The palm. Of your fingertips. Because magic.

Let’s refine, redefine, and re-something-or-other this word. Simplify it. “Magic is the power to do what otherwise could not be done.” There. That wasn’t so hard. Example time! Magic would allow me to move objects from one place to the next without touching them. Magic would allow me to fly. Magic would allow me to see things no one else can. Magic would allow me to overcome any obstacle.

Now that we’ve seen some examples, let’s look at the real world and see if we can’t get the same or similar effects.

Magic would allow me to move objects from one place to another without touching them: Robots. Remote controls. Servants.

Magic would allow me to fly: Planes.

Magic would allow em to see things no one else can: Travel. Adventure. Exploration.

Magic would allow me to overcome any obstacle: Determination. Passion. Perseverance.

What can accomplish all these wonders? What is the fuel required to cast these spells? What is the mana of the real world? For me, personally, it’s that thing that has caused people to murder each other, caused empires to rise and fall, and caused the world itself to change. I’m talking about MONEY. Money is magic. Money can hire servants, open the door to travel, and it can buy passion. Money is a motivator. Money gives people power. Money gives people shelter. Money gives people security. People say money can’t buy happiness. This is absolutely true. But money can buy a heck of a lot of other things. Money can move mountains. Money can take us to the stars. Money is powerful.

Money isn’t everything. I promise. This is just a testament to what it can do. Granted you need other things to get money, etc. etc. But I’m just making a point here: There is magic in the world. There is magic everywhere you look. With this in mind, I pose a couple questions: Where do you see magic? What things do you consider magic? Comment below. Follow me. Yadda yadda.

Remember guys and gals: If you’re gonna dream, dream BIG!

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PS. If you like the art, be sure to check out b2spiritcat on deviantart for more awesomeness!