I want to hear from you!

Hello, dearest readers.

It’s a lovely day here in Arizona. 70 degrees F. Partly cloudy. I have a job interview in a few hours and I’m nervous. I’m really nervous.

 

I started browsing the YouTube because, well, it’s the YouTube. It’s the ultimate distraction. I came across a video from one of my favorite YouTubers and he talked about being honest.  I don’t want to overshare, but I definitely want to be honest with you all. So here it goes.

 

I’m still learning how to create content for blogs (obviously). I have no idea what I’m doing. I’m just… doing. I’m always afraid that I will lose touch with the reasons why I even have a blog and start posting tons of crap that has nothing to do with anything, and… well, sort of like this post.

 

I get a decent amount of views and such on here and I know I’ve got more followers than I thought I’d ever earn. It’s humbling and heartwarming. Thank you all so much for your support. It really does mean a lot to me.

 

I would really like to hear from you guys. You know, the typical questions. Why did you follow me? What do you want to see from me? All that jazz. But more than that…

 

Who are you? What do you do for fun? Do you go adventuring? Do you like to read? How many licks does it take you to get to the center of a tootsiepop? What’s your favorite color? What do you do to make yourself or others happy? How many siblings do you have? Tell me a story about you and your best friends. Do you like Disney movies? Do you know how to cook? Share with me. I truly want to know. You guys have a story to be told and I definitely want to listen.

 

If you have a blog of your own, post it below and I’ll go check it out. I’d love to hear what you all have to say.

 

Thanks again for reading and for being you. You’re amazing and I mean.

 

Remember guys and gals, if you’re going to dream, dream BIG! And never stop believing!

EMPLOYMENT

It’s been a while since I quit my job. I have never felt happier. I left behind the retail industry and I told myself I would never go back.

But the bank is nearly empty and the time has come to be an adult.

Gross.

I was graced with a job opportunity proctoring exams. Essentially, I’d be sitting there making sure people are doing their tests properly. Which will be rather interesting and different. But hey. It’s customer service in a different way. In a room where they aren’t allowed to speak! YES! HA! Sorry. Sorry. That was excited- I MEAN RUDE.

Other than this opportunity, my father came to me and offered me a job with his business, which makes virtually no money. I was skeptical, and still am, but he’s put me in charge of something that I’m fascinated by. I will be running his website. Which currently looks like this. Look at it. Look at how riveting it is.

Needless to say, it needs a lot of work, and while I know nothing about programming, I know some other stuff that might help. I’ve decided to spend 3 hours a day teaching myself how to run a webpage. Intellectually, I know what I need to do, but I need to work on putting those thoughts into action. It will certainly be a challenge, but a welcome one.

I’d like to now talk about how these jobs came into my life. For this, we will be shifting gears here and we’ll be talking about the Law of Attraction, a topic I’m very familiar with.

As stated in a previous post, gratitude is very important. Gratitude is what empowers us. So after quitting my retail job, I felt a weight lifted from my shoulders. I am pretty sure I spent the first week away from there in total bliss. A few weeks ago, when I was staring at my computer thinking about my blog and my life, I realized that I wanted to become productive again. I started feeling grateful for the money I had, for the opportunities I had, and for the things that I knew where on their way.

When one door closes, another door opens. Maybe not right away, but still. I started getting excited. I didn’t know what I was going to do, but I knew I would be working a job or jobs that would not only meet my annual salary goal, but wouldn’t be retail and would give me room to be creative. I focused on that for a few weeks. I now have basically two jobs that, when combined, pay rent, insurance, food, gas, bills, and a few other expenses while allowing me to save up for big things.

Guys. It worked. The Law of Attraction worked. I was given opportunities to work in fields that will allow my mind to wander into creative realms and even apply them. I will learn about myself, about my career(s), and about who and what I want to be. I’m baffled by these opportunities. I will keep you guys updated. I just thought I’d share that the Law of Attraction does, in fact, work.

Thank you guys for being you. You’re awesome. I’m proud to have you in my life. ^_^

Remember, if you’re going to dream, dream BIG!

Creating Consistency

As you’re all aware, I have no scheduled posting…. schedule. I post when I please and while this works great for my creative process, it’s terrible for business, and for you avid readers out there who (for whatever reason) desperately scour my blog. I can’t make any promises, just yet, but I would like to share with you my plans.

I am thinking of continuing spewing out random blog posts every time I get the urge, but I also what a sense of continuity. Because of this I am starting a weekly post that will more than likely be out on weekends. I can’t give you specifics yet. This post was meant to be more of an apology for silence.

You guys and gals are fantastic and I can’t wait to share more with you. Hang tight. I’ll return!

STORY TIME

A SPOON’S WORST NIGHTMARE

By Taylor Packer

((This story is from the perspective of a spoon. Contains graphic and disturbing images, language, and mild sexuality. Definitely not suitable for children under the age of 13.))

My name is Hogarth Cumbercorn. I’m a spoon. To be more specific, I’m an Oneida Michaelangelo Flatware Spoon from the Patterns for a Lifetime series. I’m often described as curvaceous and ornate, donning 18/10 stainless steel polished to perfection. I am a mirror of the world around me. All that shines onto my concaving and convexing faces is reflected back upon it. I am a perfect spoon.

That’s probably why the human treats the others and I so well. Every morning, I wake to the sight of my human, pulling open the drawer where he lays us to rest at the end of the day. I’m his favorite spoon. I’m one of a kind among these 12/10 stainless steels and colored plastics. I was even his favorite over the baby spoon he had since he was an infant. The way I fit into his mouth is like unto a tailored glove fits around a perfect hand. I’m the perfect hand, of course. My God-given body came without fingers so that none of my human’s milk and cereal could spill away. The milk was always cool, but never frigid. And just before it got too cold, he would warm me with his tongue. He was always so gentle; so careful to keep his teeth away from my mirror-like surface. He nicked me once, but I forgave him. He couldn’t hear me, of course, but he knows.

Today, after breakfast, he washed me by hand the way he always does. He rinsed me in warm water and ran his soapy hands along my body, cleaning me, purifying me. It was like my soul was being cleansed by the ritual of baptism. After I am washed and rinsed, he lifts me out of the sink and dries me with a towel. The towel was coarse at first, but once our wet forms pressed against it, it softens; almost as soft, warm, and wet as his mouth. He set me back in my drawer and his smile reflected off of me, smiling back at him.

I thought that would be the end of it. But it wasn’t…

I was woken from my slumber by a rumble. The drawer we were lying in shook violently. Something was happening. The wall was groaning and the knives were sliding all over themselves. What was happening?

Sudden silence took hold. All of the other utensils quivered slightly, but I stayed still, trying to listen for my human. The drawer suddenly jerked open and the harsh mid-day light stung us, glinting off our bodies like fire. It was blinding so blinding that I couldn’t see who had opened the drawer. I felt a huge hand grope all of the spoons and myself into a tight fist. I was lifted out of the drawer. It was Human. What was he doing? Why was he so angry? What had I done?!

He turned to the sink and that’s when I was taken aback. In the place of one of the cupboards, there was a box. It was stainless steel, but sheered to look more industrial; soulless. I happened to catch a glance at something near the base of its opening maw. It was a metal name tag that read “May-hag” or something. It opened wide for us as would the gates of hell and I saw row upon row of wire strainers and small cages protruding from skeletal shelves. I was shoved face-down into a small crate with the others. I tried to see between the curves of the others, but their panic made it impossible to reason with them. I could only reflect their fear. I heard and felt the forks follow suit; that is, they were crammed into a tiny crate as well. Then the knives. What the hell was happening?!

Then I heard and felt loud clanks. Plates? Bowls? Human was shoving everyone in this metal box. In the panic, I hadn’t had time to notice the smell. It smelled of iron and terror. This couldn’t be happening. All of us were trapped in this box, unable to understand why this new and twisted chamber had become our resting place. I tried to stay calm. Surely this was temporary. Human wouldn’t abandon us to this crammed, cold, clammy box. He wouldn’t. He loved us. He loved me. That’s when I heard laughter.

He was laughing. Dear God, Human was laughing! It made me feel sick, like I would sprout rust just by the sound of it. He closed the box, leaving us in total darkness. I could hear the concerned mutterings of the others. Everyone was panicking. Four years of being cared for and all of a sudden, we were here, in total darkness. Had it all been a lie? Had it all been a ploy to gain our trust?

Searing hot water blasted us from out of nowhere. Everyone screamed. I screamed. Liquid fire was trying to carve away my shiny surface. My skin… My skin was burning! It was being sanded off by the pressure. I could hear the baby spoon wailing, coughing, drowning. What sick monster would do this? The water stopped spraying and we could all breathe again. I wanted to find Baby Spoon and cover him, spoon him, keep him safe from whatever might come next. I wiggled against the others, but we were too tightly packed. I could hear the knives sobbing. They were always the emotional ones, but this time I just wanted to cry with them.

I caught of a whiff of boiling soap. This wasn’t over.

Scalding lava-water exploded around us, gyrating and twirling in a dance of death, hosing us down with a foul, waxy sanitizing agents. I could feel some of the plastic spoons shudder as their skins peeled away from their gooey, plastic flesh. They were melting. They were melting against me! I would screamed, but their plastic melted over my face. What horror! What horror!!!

The soapy water was replaced with the regular magma-water. I was able to push my way through the semi-solid corpses of my fallen spoon-brothers to get to Baby Spoon, but he was gone. There was no sign of him. He must have fallen through the holes in the bottom of the grate. I couldn’t hear him cry anymore. The water stopped and left us all in a burning steam. I could hear the bowls crying, the plates whimpering. The knives had gone silent.

Light crashed into the torture chamber and I saw the human smiling. The bastard was actually smiling! I was so angry, and so afraid. All I could think to do was play dead. He reached into the grates and pulled all the spoons free. He muttered a few curse words and peeled the dead semi-solid spoons from our group. I saw him toss them in the trash as if they were nothing. True, I was the greatest of his spoons, but dammit, they were spoons too! They were spoons too, you MONSTER!

Human tossed us haphazardly into our familiar drawer, one utensil type at a time, whistling as he went. Once we were all in our proper places, he slammed the drawer closed, leaving us alone. I was finally able to cry. I wept and the other spoons did too. We held one another close and mourned our losses. Half the plastics… and even poor, sweet Baby Spoon was gone. We were betrayed by our human.

We know it’s only a matter of time before Human kills us all. The Forks are planning to take him out tonight, after he goes to sleep. We know it’s a suicide mission, but justice must be wrought. There was talk of throwing him into the death box and cooking him alive, but we voted against that. Besides…. Revenge is a dish best served cold.

[[Thanks for reading, everyone. You’re fantastic. If you liked it, go ahead and hit “like”. Leave a comment, subscribe, share, the whole shebang. Your support is appreciated. You are what makes this blog possible. Thank you so much!]]

The Color Red

I have two favorite colors: yellow and red. I fluctuate between which one I like more depending on my state of mind. Before I continue, let me define my version of “states of mind”.

For me, I have two states of mind. I have a good state and a bad state. Both of these states of mind encompass every possible emotion. Yes, that means that I can be angry in a good state and happy in a bad state. “How can this be? What kind of sorcery is this?” you ask. Here’s what it means: If I’m in a good state, I am able to shake off negative emotions far easier than not. I am able to see the logic behind why I’m feeling a certain way and I am able to find solutions. In a bad state, I am unable to do these things and become completely debilitated.

You could probably guess which state of mind favors red.

Red is the bad state of mind. Even though I can be happy and have a great time, my mind is unable to control how long that good attitude will last. On days like this, I will deliberately go out of my way to wear red, write with red pens, eat red-colored foods (cherries, apples, red velvet cake, etc.), and try to surround myself with as much red as possible. Again, it’s not that I’m angry or in a bad place, per say. But I’m not in control. Let’s examine that for a minute.

According to colormatters.com, red was symbolic of the primal forces. It represents passion, fury, life, and energy. It is a color of radical choices and behavior. When I’m in love with red, my impulse control is all but gone and I follow my instincts and my whims. Fun and dangerous, the color red represents a less-than-optimal use of my time.

I bring this up because over the last few days I’ve become less and less concerned with the important things and began chasing the things that make me feel good. I went on a real date for the first time since my last ex and I broke up. Had I had my whits about me, I feel like it would have gone a lot better, but I’ll spare you the details. My siblings and I were supposed to a special project for my mother, as Mother’s Day is just around the corner. However, none of my siblings were available for various reasons. Their excuses ranged from “I was going to see a movie with a friend” to “I’m working” and while these are okay reasons to not participate, I couldn’t help but feel abandoned to do the entire project alone. It wouldn’t have turned out nearly as good as I had hoped and it wouldn’t mean as much to my mom. So my rage consumed me. What do I do when I get angry? (Besides complain about it on the internet/to friends)

I change my hair! I shaved the sides and back of my head without really looking and because of that, it’s a bit uneven in the back. I then decided to do something I haven’t done in a long time…

Kinda subtle, right?
Kinda subtle, right?

I PUT RED IN IT. My Scarlet Stripe, my Crimson Coil, my Red Ripple. None of the hairstylists I’ve been do would do it for me, either because we were friends and they didn’t trust my idea of style, or because they didn’t trust themselves to do it right. SO I DID IT! Honestly, I love it. I think it’s really cool. Just a subtle little nod to my insanity for all the world to see.

This change in hair color represents a change in attitude. Whether I am a slave to my emotions or not, I will allow the best parts of the color red shine through; passion, determination, heroism, and life. No longer will the “bad state” be a bad thing. All things can teach you, can help you grow, if you know how to use them. Now I’m driven by the color red to accomplish my wonders. I can’t wait to show them all to you. I love you all, you beautiful people, you.

Thanks for reading. Remember: if you’re going to dream, dream BIG!

Filming in Flagstaff

I hate “jobs.” I hate all jobs. I’ve yet to work a job that I can earnestly say “I really like this and can see myself doing this for the rest of my life/for many years to come!” Nope. Not once. Every job I’ve ever had I go “Yup. This is what I know how to do and I do it well.” They’re boring, but that’s not the only reason I hate them.

Jobs are jobs. They give me no sense of accomplishment. I really really thought about it, but I cannot find a single thing it does that makes me feel like I’m doing something worthwhile. Paying bills, being responsible, that’s all wonderful. SO wonderful. But it’s not fulfilling. It’s surviving.

I’m not a survivor. I’m a dreamer.

Do not go gently into that good night! Don’t sit around! Do! DO!

Last weekend, I went up to Flagstaff to film some things for movie that I’m interning on. It was such an amazing experience. I learned more in one day than I did in my 4 months of shooting my own film. I helped take stills, dress the set, talk about shots with my director. What’s amazing was that he actually appreciated what I did, because I just realized as I was typing this that me suggesting things might have been totally been inappropriate for an intern. Urgh. Anxiety.

Regardless, I learned something about myself that day. I will get up at 4:30 with only two hours of sleep and will work my hardest, be professional, and be generally all sorts of awesome AND happy on a film set. Why? How?

It’s something I love. I truly, deeply love filmmaking. I’ve decided that I will find a way to make money doing this. I don’t care what I do, so long as it’s creating movies in some way, shape, or form. It’s what I was born to do.

If you guys have a dream, follow it. You will find happiness beyond your dreams.

TRIUMPHANT RETURN!

That’s right, you beautiful people, I’m back. I purchased a new power cable for my laptop and it just arrived today. I didn’t even think about taking pictures of it so that you guys wouldn’t have to stare at nothing but words. Boring, boring words. I apologize. Next time! Like maybe when I order a new computer. Or have pizza deliver. Ooo! Who thinks I should start taking selfies with all the pizza delivery people? That’d be pretty sweet. And weird.

I have so much to tell you guys and not enough space in one post. But here’s a list of things that will probably be coming pretty soon:

1. I went to Disneyland! You’re going to hear all about that for sure.

2. I went camping for the first time in at least 3 years! You have no idea how much I love camping because I forgot to tell you 

3. My sister got her Mission Call! It’s a pretty big deal for us.

4. I’m revamping the blog! I will more than likely be re-formating everything I can within the coming week and really focusing on what I want this blog to be.

5. I’m going to Flagstaff to shoot a trailer for a film I’m interning on! It’s a horror film and I’ll be sure to do my best to take as many pictures as I can when I’m not working.

6. I’m still addicted to goldfish! This is becoming a serious problem. Send help.

7. At least three other blog posts about my personal opinions of people on the internet! ….YAY!

8. YouTube! I’m revamping my YouTube channel in an attempt to be awesome and your support is most appreciated.

9. THE COLOR OF HUNGER UPDATE! Remember my short film I told you about? Well, so do I and we’ve got some cool news for you.

And much more! Stay tuned, my beautiful, wonderful, soulful readers. You’re the reason I came back. Love you much!

And remember: if you’re going to dream, dream BIG!